To your kids, you are already a rock star. You are their comforter, their protector, and their friend. While sometimes you have to lay down the law with chores and discipline, you can also be the one to bring a smile to the faces of your children. Enter jokes. These jokes do not need to be deep, extremely thoughtful, or incredibly hilarious. Actually, the more simple and corny the better! Below you can find 101 jokes which fit this bill. Slip them into your kid’s lunchbox, write them on birthday cards, or whip them out during a long car ride. Continue to be the rockstar in your child’s life with these jokes!
Q: What is it called when a shoemaker drops his vegetables?
A: Corn on the cobbler!
Q: Have you seen the movie Constipation?
A: No it has not come out yet.
Q: What did one eye say to the other eye?
A: Something smells between us!
Q: What’s the longest word in the dictionary?
A: Smile! Because it has a mile in it!
Q: What’s white and can’t climb a tree ?
A: A Fridge
Q: Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
A: Because if they flew over the bay they would be called bagels.
Q: Why are movies stars so cool?
A: Because the have a lot of fans.
Q: What do you call a pretty ghost?
Q: How does a train eat?
A: It goes chew chew.
Q. What are caterpillars afraid of?
Q: Where did the cow take its date?
A: To the mooovies.
Q: What kind of shoes does an artist wear?
Q. What crime did the tree commit?
Q: What does a philosophical dolphin think about?
A: What is my porpoise?
I used to be addicted to soap, but now I’m clean.
Q: Why was the sand wet?
A: Because the sea-weed
Q: What do you call a shoe made from a banana?
A: A slipper!
Q: What’s the difference between America and a flash drive?
A: One is USA and the other is USB.
Q: What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
A: A carrot.
Q: What did the cake say to the fork?
A: Want a piece of me?
Q: Why can’t you trust the king of the jungle?
A: Because he is always lion.
Q: Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
A: In case he got a hole in one.
Q: What kind of music does the president listen to?
A: Country music.
Q: What do you call a Tyrannosaurus Rex after it gets beat up?
Q: Did you hear about the Italian chef that died?
A: He pasta way.
Q: Why did the smartphone need glasses?
A: It lost all of its contacts.
Q: How many lips does a flower have?
Q: What does a peanut do when it is bored?
Q: What did one plate say to the other plate
A: Dinners on me.
Q: What did the triangle say to the circle?
A: You’re pointless.
Q: How do billboards talk?
A: Sign language.
We don’t have any vegetable jokes, if you get one lettuce know.
Q: Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?
A: Cause then it would be a foot!
Q: What do you call a boat with a hole?
A: A sink.
Q: What is a pirate’s favorite place to eat?
Q: What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?
Q: What did the chip say to the cheese that was caught stealing?
A: “Hey, that’s nachos!”
I tried to take a picture of some fog. I mist.
Q: What do dogs and trees have in common?
Q: Why did the pig get hired at the restaurant?
A: He was really good at bacon.
Q: Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his treasure?
A: Because he was a little shellfish.
Q: What did the fisherman say to the magician?
A: Pick a cod, any cod!
Q: Why are penguins socially awkward?
A: Because they can’t break the ice.
Q: Where do hamburgers go to dance?
A: To the meatball.
Q: Why did the poor man sell yeast?
A: To raise some dough.
Q: Why did the tomato blush?
A: Because he saw the salad dressing.
Q: Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
A: The baa-baa shop.
Q: What do you call a bathroom full of octopi?
Q: Why do birds fly South for the winter?
A: Because it is too far too walk.
Q: What do you call an alligator with a vest
A: An in-vest-igator
Q: What’s a pepper that won’t leave you alone?
A: Jalapeno business
Q: How did the hipster burn his tongue?
A: He drank his coffee before it was cool.
Q: What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
Q: What do you call a pile of cats?
A: A meow-ntain.
Q: What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?
A: Give me my quarterback.
Armed with these 55 jokes, you are sure to bring a smile to your kids’ faces. Maintaining the fun in your relationship with your kids is essential so that you can have authority while still being their rockstar. Enjoy delighting your kids with these jokes!