Calm down hotshot. You are probably thinking to yourself, “I am not going to do something stupid. Being a bridesmaid is a piece of cake (or should I say, wedding cake?) and everything will be just fine!”. And this may be the case for you. And if you are a veteran bridesmaid, then you probably have this perfected to the T, even though looking it over and refreshing yourself never hurts.
But if you are a first time bridesmaid that thinks you know what you are doing, you may still want to take a glance over some of these suggestions for avoiding petty problems that can happen during the wedding process. Because believe me, I can guarantee you that there is at LEAST one thing on this list that you did not think about and that you would regret doing after the damage has been done.
So you can thank me later.
1. It is not YOUR big day. It is the Bride’s.
You say that this will not happen. But when you are heated in the moment about hating your bridesmaid dress or are upset because the bride is making you walk barefoot, take a deep breath and count to ten. Remind yourself that this is not your day. You are not the one wearing white and you are not the one paying thousands of dollars to get picture-perfect wedding photos. Your day will come, but it is not this day.
2. Insisting on having a plus one.
If the bride is stingy and is wanting a smaller wedding, then do not get up in her grill about not inviting plus ones. Or possibly plus ones that she does not know very well. Just deal with it and accept the fact that you will be doing this wedding solo.
3. Telling yourself that your dress will fit and that you do not need to try it on.
Now if your bride orders the dresses online, that is fine. But as soon as the dress comes in the mail, you NEED to try it on. There may be some simple alternations that need to happen, or maybe you need to order a completely different size. But even if it fits well, you need to make sure that you get it taken care of. The last thing you want is to get to the wedding day and not be able to get the dress up over your hips. Trust me, this is one of the biggest nightmares possible.
4. Complaining about the bridesmaid dresses.
I know, I know. You are paying for the dress. You are doing the bride a favor by being in her wedding. But this is still her day, and you knew that when you said yes to being her bridesmaid. So if she does not ask for your opinion, shut your trap and do not say anything. If she does, you can tell her your opinion in a nice way. Do not make it seem like you are trying the decision for her. Maybe say, “Well, I like (blank) about it, but the (blank) is sort of throwing me off. Maybe in a different style?”. Saying things in the right wording may be key to preventing a disastrous situation.
5. Being the star of the show at the open bar.
Yes, the open bar is a great thing. But do not take advantage of this, take a lot of shots, shots, shots, and get drunk, all while making a fool of yourself. Consider staying sober in order to be there for your bride if she needs you. No one likes a crazy bridesmaid who steals all of the attention at the reception.
6. Going to the bride with all your problems.
The bride has enough stress as is. So do your best to not load all of your bridesmaid troubles onto her shoulders. Rather, if you have a concern about something related to the wedding, go to the maid of honor. Or if it serious, go to her mother. If worse comes to worse, and you seriously need to work something out, then go to the bride. But make it your last resort to do so in order to save added stress.
7. Forgetting the emergency bag.
Whether it be the bride’s emergency bag or your own, make sure you have it prepared before the big day, and that it is ready to go the morning of. Whether it be filled with bobby pins and safety pins, or band-aids and Ibuprofen, always have some items with you in case of loose hair or a miserable period migraine.
8. Not bringing along a change of shoes.
Especially if you are wearing heels. Bringing along a pair of flats, flip flops, or even just some socks for the reception and dancing time, is a really good idea. If the bride is okay with it, you could even bring a change of clothes to wear after the pictures and be completely comfortable for dancing!
9. Forgetting to buy the bride a gift.
Trust me. You being in her wedding is not a gift. Do not feel the need to get an over-the-top extravagant gift, but give the registry a look over and decide from there.
10. Turing into a “bridesmaid-zilla”.
Once again. This wedding is not revolved around you and it is not about you. You are not the bride, you are not the center of attention. So throwing a hissy fit will not only cause problems between you and the bride, but will make everyone else around you get frustrated as well. Not to mention that you will look pathetic. So just keep this in the back of your head when you want to throw a tantrum.
11. Leaving the wedding early.
Unless you talked to the bride beforehand and have other very important plans, do not, under any circumstance, leave the wedding early. Not only is it a nice gesture to stay to help clean up after the wedding, but offering to help her before her sendoff is also the right thing to do. As a friend, and as a good bridesmaid!
Following these guidelines is the right way to go. As you prepare for this special day with the other wonderful ladies surrounding you, just remember that this is a monumental celebration for one of your best friends, and that you can help make her big day a little easier by being there for her!
So be a caring and wonderful bridesmaid, not a bridesmaid-zilla.