Moving in together is a big deal. Many people move countless times and are easily adaptable to their surroundings. But once you move in with your significant other, there are many questions, thoughts, and concerns. Prepare yourself and make it easier for you both!
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COMMUNICATION!!
Communicate with each other about everything. In sports you have game plans of different plays, make sure you have a game plan of how you are going co-inhabit your space once you move in together. Communicate your needs and wants, your feelings and emotions! Your spouse isn’t a mind reader and neither are you so remember communication is key in any relationship.
Know That This is an Adjustment
There will be an adjustment period. Don’t fret. Every one needs time to adjust to their new co-inhabitant whether it’s moving into a home that was already purchased or your purchasing together. Not every one has the same adjustment period, so be patient with yourself and with your spouse!
Compromise
Compromise… It’s harder than you think. Life can be tough and so are relationships. Have a good method to compromise to. If you know your spouse is stubborn, know that they may not be willing to compromise; that brings me back to my first rule of living together.. COMMUNICATION. Don’t compromise to the point of both parties being unhappy, find the happy medium, and most importantly, don’t give up!
Talk About Your Expectations
What are your expectations? What are theirs? Make a list of things that you expect from your spouse and have them do the same. Compare! Do you cook or do they cook? 50/50? Who does the cleaning? Who manages the bills? What are your strengths and what are your weaknesses? Don’t assume and make sure you know each other’s expectations.
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Pick Your Battles
This sort of ties in with compromise. But pick which battles you compromise for and which battles you fight. Some battles aren’t worth fighting. Follow your gut and your surroundings and fight with moderations. Remember, once you say “words”, you can’t take them back.
Dealing With Habits- Yours and Theirs
Your habits will differ from theirs. The living room may be a gathering spot for sneakers because they are too lazy to take them off in their desired “home” or the laundry won’t make it to the hamper that is two feet from where they stand. Your habits may be leaving the bathroom a wreck or not wiping down the counters in the kitchen when your done baking. Some habits are life long, but a habit can be broken. If it bothers you that much, let them be aware of it, in a nice and kind way.
Learn to Be Comfortable
You may think your comfortable with each other, but when you start living together, that is a whole new ball game. Be who you are, in all your glory, you’ll see each other soon enough for who they are and all their habits.
Inviting Friends Over
Be courteous to your spouse. Your friends and your spouse may get along splendidly but just know that asking you spouse if they have plans or anything scheduled before inviting friends over may be the best for everyone. This also shows that you respect their space and recognize it as theirs as well as yours.
Balance
Balance your time together. Some couples spend every waking moment together, even work. Schedule an evening with your friends, spending a few moments apart is ok and may even be good for you both. Some couples only see each other in the evenings when they are done with work for the day. Chisel out time in your busy schedule for date day or a date night.
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Finances
This is something that you should talk about before you get married but especially before you move in with each other. What debt do you each have? Do you have a plan for paying it? Who will be the person to take care of finances in your house? Talk about your salaries and decide how you want to divide and conquer.
Training
This sounds funny because you would think that you would train a pet. But in reality, we as humans may need trained as well. We need to be trained on being courteous of our new house mate. As children we grow up with the guidance of our parents. Now you’re the “parents”, you choose the rules but first you have to make them and train yourselves to keep them.
Celebrations and Traditions
How do you celebrate traditions? Do you have the same traditions? How do you divvy them out to make it work the best for you both? Figure out what works for all parties and what is easiest for you both. If that means splitting holidays up, do so. Or have an adventure and host it for your first year! You may start a new tradition and it is a great way to show off your new home!
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Appreciation
Always show appreciation, whether it be through a small hand written note or through an act of reciprocation. If your spouse cooks you a special meal and plans an entire evening of something you enjoy, reciprocate that action with something they enjoy. Take a few moments each day, when your thinking of them, and tell them your favorite thing about them or tell them a reason you’re thankful for them.
Living with someone new is an obstacle in itself, but follow your heart, it led you to this moment of living with your spouse. These 13 rules to live by are a shoe-in for a smoother road.
