One crucial piece of relationship advice anyone can give is to keep pride out of your relationship. Pride can destroy a relationship if we let it.
There are times in our lives when we should feel proud of something we’ve accomplished. It’s good to be proud of the hard work we have done. We need to recognize the things we do well and celebrate the victory of accomplishing them. In the same way, it’s good to be proud of others and lift them up when they do something well.
But there is definitely a time when pride is not good. I’m talking about the pride that Dictionary.com defines as “a high opinion of one’s own dignity, importance, or superiority, whether cherished in the mind or as displayed in conduct.” Pride such as this can seep through and harden someone’s heart (cherished in the mind) before destroying relationships (displayed in conduct).
It’s sad and annoying when someone is too prideful. Pride is obvious to others but not always obvious to the prideful person. Is it possible that you have some pride seeping into your relationship? We’ve all been there, so here are a few tips to help keep pride out of your relationship.
Recognize Your Imperfections
No one is perfect. Everyone fails. We don’t do the things we are supposed to, or if we do, we don’t always do them well. Sometimes we do choose to do things we shouldn’t do. We’re selfish, unkind, and arrogant. We want things our way. We mess up again and again. We’re all on the same page when it comes to being imperfect.
In a relationship, you need to understand that both of you are imperfect. It can be easy to focus on your partner’s failures but show each other kindness in remembering that no one is perfect. If your boyfriend forgot to call, give him grace and remember that you also make mistakes. If your wife was rude to you before she left for work, give her grace and remember that you also make mistakes.
When we recognize our imperfections, we stop focusing on the imperfections of others because we know we also make mistakes. This thinking is not to bring down your self-esteem, but it will aid in thinking rightly about yourself. When we remember that we also make mistakes, we are less critical of others and tend to become less prideful. Instead of forming “a high or inordinate opinion of one’s own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority,” we then can look at our partner as an equal.
Admit Your Faults
Once we understand that we are imperfect, it will be easier to admit when we have failed. If you have done something wrong against your loved one, it is necessary to apologize. Repeatedly not doing so can result in bitterness from your partner, leading to lack of love or lack of a desire to show it. This will lead to a cycle of disrespect and love from both people.
Admitting you have failed does not show weakness, it shows humility. On the contrast, refusing to admit when you have done something wrong shows pride. There is no place in a relationship for pride. It is the beginning of destruction.
Give Credit Where Credit Is Due
Simply put, give credit where credit is due. Thank the people in your life who have helped you be successful, especially when it is your partner. If you allow yourself to think that you’re so great because of all you’ve done, you will become prideful, and your demeanor will change.
If you are married, remember that you and your spouse are a team. Pride should not remain in the relationship because you are a unit working together. Even if you make more money than your spouse, for example, you cannot let that change the way you see your spouse or pride will grow. My relationship tip for you is to remember the positive ways your partner has influenced you and thank him/her for the help in your success.
Some people are naturally more prideful than others. If you know overcoming pride is a struggle, find someone you can confide in. As stated before, it is good to be proud of hard work you’ve done, but you cannot allow that to change how you view others. People can work and live together much more peacefully when pride is not in the equation. I hope that these tips can help you as you start to remove pride from your relationship.