No matter what age you are, what stage you’re in, or where you’ve come from, as women, we’ve all faced the insecurity monster before. It can be all too easy to think that we’ve left behind petty things like comparing ourselves to others in high school and college, but that isn’t the case. As a young adult of any age, it can seem like a constant battle to see who can get married first, who can get the house first, and who can get pregnant first. So if you’re struggling to try to come in first in this seemingly existent race, or you feel like you’ll never catch up to the leader of the pack, these tips can help you to become more content.
Don’t Turn Everything Into A Competition
It can be easy to assume that everyone is against you or playing the same game you are when in reality they’re not. Say you have a woman that you think hates you at the gym, or the grocery store, or who is a mom in your son’s preschool class. You might have thought this woman hated you because you talked on the phone on the elliptical beside her that one time it was an emergency, and you’ve built up this tension between her and you in your mind. One day, she is standing beside you in the locker room and asks how your day was. She doesn’t hate you after all! As women, we spend too much of our time putting pressure on one another and getting wrapped up in our fears and insecurities. Don’t be sad when your friend succeeds. Be mature enough to realize that it doesn’t mean you can’t be happy or, think that it takes success away from you. It doesn’t matter who had the house first, or baby first, or the best wedding, in the long run, it matters who was the kindest, wisest, and most intentional friend. Learn to love yourself and be content enough in your gifts that you don’t need to be jealous of someone else.
Compliment Other People
I know you might be thinking how can this help me feel better about myself? Well, because by seeing the best in other people and trying to notice the good they are doing, you’ll subconsciously transfer that magnifying glass onto yourself. You will be able to appreciate the great qualities about yourself when you start to notice them in other people. Plus, who doesn’t love to be someone who can brighten someone else’s day!
Not even the person you wish you could be so badly. I know that this might be a tired cliche, but it’s important to remember in your darkest moments. We will all make mistakes, yell, have bad days, and get our periods. It’s inevitable. Don’t hold yourself to a higher standard than you need too. Remember all that you have endured to get to this point in your life and give yourself a break. And don’t assume that other people have it all together. We all have internal battles, stresses, and pains that people can’t see from the outside. Be kind. It’s ok to be broken before other people and to be real about the struggles that have shaped you into who you are. Let people see the real you, even if you think it’s too stained.
If you have a day where you just can’t think of a single good thing about yourself, don’t fear, that’s what friends are for. Ask your closest friends or family to write down the things they love most about you on notecards and place them in a jar. Then, when you are having a particularly bad day, you can look at these cards and remember who loves you. Also, practice writing the things that you love most about yourself out regularly. These can serve as reminders when you are too down to remember.
Surround Yourself With Positive People
No one has time in life for people who are just going to tear them down every opportunity they get. No one has time for a friend who is always talking negatively about themselves and everyone around them. No one has time for a friend who won’t value and support them the way they deserve. So how does that start? One, surround yourself with people who are supportive of others, who have kind words to say to others, and who aren’t quick to beat down on themselves or their circumstances. Now, I want to be sure to mention that this does not mean people who are struggling with mental illnesses or any form of slight depression. If you feel that you are struggling with depression rather than regular insecurity, please consult your physician. It is statistically proven that you will become like the five people you hang out with the most, so why not let those people be positive influences.
I know that some days you probably get out of bed, look at your bedraggled self in the mirror, and hate everything about you can see, but have hope! We all have those days, and we all face hardships, but we have come out stronger on the other side. We hope that these tips can help you on your journey to contentment. Let us know if they helped in the comments below!