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Why Does Singleness Have To Be A Dirty Word?

Your relationship status doesn’t have to define your life.

I know what you’re thinking. That this is going to be another “woe is me, believe in yourself, love you before you love another,” singleness post. While those self-help posts can be very beneficial, they lack one thing. A writer who is an actual single person. As an eternally single girl, I hate reading article after article of advice from people “who know what I’m going through,” when they’ve been married for the past five years. Maybe you knew what I was going through once, but you don’t anymore.

As someone who has never been in a serious relationship, don’t worry I do so much research for my wedding and parenting articles, I know how it feels to log onto Facebook and see yet another person getting engaged. Our culture paints that being single means that something is wrong with you. That if you aren’t being pursued by a man than you’re not worthy of being pursued. But that is so far from the truth, my sweet friend. I am going to blast you with some cold, hard truth during this article, so get ready for it.

You Are Worth Waiting For

There is so much more to life than having a sparkly ring on your finger and waltzing down the aisle to a man. Marriage and relationships aren’t always as perfect as romantic comedies want us to believe. Relationships are hard work and require sacrifice. If you are the girl sitting alone at the bar who thinks that no boy could ever love her, that is a lie. Guys can be just as insecure as we are about their relationship status. You, yes you, sitting there reading this, you are worth it. You deserve to have an amazing man shower you with love. You have so much to offer a relationship, a husband, and a family. Don’t let the world tell you otherwise just because you can’t remember the last time you had a great date.

Life Is So Much More

Life is so much more than being in a relationship or calling someone your “bae.” Ladies, you were created to be so much more than someone’s #womencrushwednesday or even someone’s wife. Don’t let your life pass you by while you’re waiting for Mr. Right. So go out on the weekends with your friends, go to a movie by yourself that you want to see, buy yourself flowers on the street corner, get actively involved in your community; because you should be living life to the fullest while you’re single. Think about it, right now; you have no one to answer to. You have no one you have to devote most of your time to. You can be selfish. You can only care about what you want to do. That all changes when you get into a serious relationship.

Treat Yo Self

Like I stated above, you don’t need a man to supply all your needs. Thanks to the women who came before us, we can earn money and work at places we love. We are allowed to be passionate about the world and specific causes. So buy yourself donuts on the weekend and eat them all. Get a pedicure with your best friends. Buy that super expensive dress you will only wear one time. You don’t need a boyfriend or husband to treat you; you can treat yourself.

Comparison Is A Thief Of Joy

Even those of us who are truly content being on our own, still have our moments of sadness. And a lot of singleness sadness comes from comparing ourselves to other friends, family members, or couples we see online. Don’t do that to yourself. Be a big enough person that you can be truly happy for the friends and loved ones who have found people who make them happy. Realize that someone else’s happiness doesn’t affect yours. So support your married friends and single friends equally. Be a bridesmaid as many times as your friends will have you. We all have different paths we take in life, don’t be disappointed that your man hasn’t crossed yours yet. You never know what’s around the next bend.

Straighten Out Your Priorities

Being single gives you an excellent opportunity to reflect on yourself. You can look at your past relationships and try to unpack what made them fall apart. Try to take a hard look at what you expect and want in a relationship, and make sure you stick to those deal breakers. Realize that you can survive being alone and that it’s healthy not to be dependent on other people. Learn about what makes you truly happy, what you enjoy doing, how you want to spend your time, without the influence of someone else.

There are many other positives that I could share with you about being single but know this. No matter how you are feeling about your relationship status today, you are loved by so many people around you. You are not alone. And you are not going to be an old maid. Take a deep breath, and enjoy this time in your life today.


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