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7 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Picking Your Maid of Honor

Make sure you choose wisely.

One of the most challenging decisions for any bride on her wedding day is choosing her bridal party. And namely, who will be her maid of honor. If you are someone who has been blessed with a sister or sisters, this might be a no-brainer, but for the rest of us, we might have a dilemma on our hands. What are the questions and things you should be considering before you ask her to be your maid of honor? That is exactly what we are going to be discussing today.

Does She Have The Time?

Being someone’s maid of honor is no small feat. They have to plan your bachelorette party, bridal shower, and many other elements of your big day. You need them to have enough time to commit to making your wedding everything you’ve envisioned. If your best friend doesn’t have the time to pull off being the maid of honor, why not just have her be a bridesmaid? It could help you avoid a lot of fights in the future.

Is She Organized?

Now that you’ve assessed if she has the time, is she organized enough to pull it off? I have very dear friends who can barely get a handle on their lives, let alone on planning a wedding for me. You need someone who is going to be on the ball, and not need to be reminded to do things. She should be able to find potential problems before you even think of them. 

Will She Get Along With The Rest of The Bridal Party

The maid of honor is kind of like the captain of the bridal party squad, so can she lead them well? It might be best to pick your maid of honor as someone who would know many of the other bridal party members and is already friends with them. Or, someone whose personality wouldn’t rub people the wrong way. The last thing you want is people coming to you because they are annoyed with her.

Is She High-Maintenance?

Now, we can all be high maintenance or uptight about certain things, but is she that way about most things? You just don’t want to have a maid of honor monster on your hands. Think of how Monica completely controlled and took over Phoebe’s wedding on Friends. Make sure she is someone you could work with instead of butting heads. After all, it’s your day; you actually know best.

Does She Want It?

The most important question to consider before picking a maid of honor is this one. Does she actually want it? Did you swear to her that she would be your maid of honor back in the third grade or on freshman orientation day? Because, you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feeling unnecessarily, it’s not worth it. If this girl is your best friend, then you should pick her to be your maid of honor. You don’t want to injure a friendship because you thought she couldn’t handle it. And, if you aren’t sure, why not just ask her about it? You can have an open conversation about what you expect out of a maid of honor and if she thinks she’d be up to that.

How Many Options Do You Have?

Do you want to have a bigger or smaller wedding party? If you have a smaller wedding party, you might not have that many options for people who could be your maid of honor. This makes your decision a lot simpler. However, if you want to have a bigger bridal party, you might have a tougher time deciding. It might be easiest to start with the people you absolutely have to have by your side, and then narrow it down to a list of maid of honor options from those ladies.

Will She Be Supportive?

Any good bridesmaid or maid of honor knows that a lot of their duties go hand and hand with supporting the bride. That means asking to help them when they are stressed, encouraging them when they want to ditch the groom, etc. But can you count on this friend to stand with you through thick and thin? More importantly, can they handle your changing stressful mood and not take it personally? These are all good things to consider.

As you can see, there is a lot more that goes into being an excellent maid of honor beside holding the bride’s train. Don’t be afraid to take some time to consider this big decision. And remember, it’s your day, what you say goes.

For tips on being the best bridesmaid ever, check out our article here.


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