So you’ve been seeing this guy for awhile now, and he has asked you to meet his family. Cue panic. Of course, you are over the moon that he wants to introduce you to mom and dad, but what if they don’t like you? What if you say the wrong thing? Could a lousy first impression end your relationship forever? Take a deep breath. All will be well. Meeting someone’s family is a big step in any relationship, but these tips can help you to overcome your fears.
I know that this sounds like a tired cliche, but it’s true. Don’t try to be the person they are expecting. Their son is crazy about you, which means they want to meet the real you. Not some version of yourself that you think will win them over. For example, if you are someone who hates to cook, don’t suddenly act like you are Betty Crocker just to impress his mother. They will appreciate when you are authentically yourself and treat them the way you would your regular friends.
Stay Away From Controversial Issues
The first time you meet his parents is not the time to talk about politics and other hard issues. If his family is religious, and so are you, then, by all means, talk about religion. But, if you are and they aren’t, or vice versa, you might want to avoid that conversation for the time being. Try not to stir the pot or bring up a conversation topic that could alienate people depending on their stance. Remember you want to get to know them, and if you are fighting about politics, you might not get that opportunity.
Don’t Panic If They Ask You Uncomfortable Things
So maybe they bring up religion or politics, or how many kids you want to have; don’t avoid the conversation. Don’t freak out and pretend you got sick. Be honest in your answers. Because they asked, they want to know the answer and should be able to handle if they disagree with you. Once you have answered their question, instead of asking them the same question, don’t be afraid to change the subject. You can’t always avoid awkward conversation topics, but you can control how you handle them.
Ask Them Plenty About Your SO
People love talking about themselves and the things they like, and since they love your boyfriend, he is a great place to start. They will appreciate that you want to get to know their son better and hear about his childhood. Now is the perfect time to listen to embarrassing stories as well as achievements your boyfriend might be too humble to reveal to you. By asking about how your significant other grew up, this will open the door for you to discuss your childhood as well.
There is nothing future mother-in-laws hate more than girls who are not willing to help them out. Volunteer to clean up the kitchen or get the meal started. Even if they refuse, still help. This is going to show his family that you are hard-working, and that you aren’t content just sitting around while everyone else is getting ready.
Don’t Cling To Your Man
Don’t be that annoying couple who disappears to the basement or another part of the house during family gatherings. Be present. Make time to interact with everyone who is in attendance and make your rounds talking to people together. Just make sure that you don’t try to run away from his family. They are watching you, and they want to make sure that you aren’t a threat to taking their son away from them forever.
You don’t have to go out and buy a new dress or outfit to meet his parents. Just ask what the dress code for that event will be. Most likely, your boyfriend dresses similarly to what they are used to. If he is wearing a flannel and jeans, you probably don’t need to wear a cocktail dress. Use your discretion in this area, but make sure that you don’t overdo it.
Be Kind To Your Boyfriend
I know that in any relationship there is plenty of teasing and taunting that takes place. Make sure that you reign this in slightly when you first meet his parents. Though your boyfriend isn’t offended, his parents might think that you are putting down their little boy. Try to feel the vibe of his family to assess if it’s appropriate to tease him gently or if that would be very frowned upon.
The important thing to remember in the midst of all this stress is that the man you love wants you to meet the family he loves. It’s a big deal that he wants to bring you home to mom and dad. So, don’t spend so much time stuck in your own anxiety that you don’t get excited. Because their son loves you, they will want to love you too.
For things, you should discuss before getting engaged, check out our article here.