Being a part of any wedding party is an incredible honor. It puts you front and center at what is quite likely the most important day of a loved one's life. Along with that honor, also comes an incredible responsibility. This is especially true of the best man, who is quite likely the most important person in the groom's wedding party. He helps to lead the planning for all pre-wedding activities for the groom. The best man is, essentially, the head of the groom's side of the wedding party. Part of that responsibility is, of course, making the best man speech.
The best man speech will be one of the first words spoken to the happy couple right after their nuptials are made official. There are all kinds of ways to give a good best man speech. Chances are, if you've been chosen for this important role, you know the groom - and maybe even the bride - pretty well. Therefore, take that into account when crafting your best man speech.
What kind of speech would they like? How would they like their nearest and dearest to present them to their friends, family, and guests as they start their lives together? Would they like a serious speech or a funny one? Would they want the best man speech to include sentimental memories? All of these questions and more must be answered before you put pen to paper on this speech. Here are just a few suggestions to help you make a best man speech that will wow the entire wedding.
Start With A Great Joke About The Groom
If you are the best man at the wedding, you likely go way back with the groom. Therefore, there are many memories, inside jokes, and more that the two of you have likely shared over the years. Pick one such memory and start there. Maybe there was a party where your buddy was the life of the place and started singing bad (or good!) karaoke and had the whole place in stitches. Maybe you guys took a road trip that cemented your status as best friends forever. Perhaps on that trip, you and your buddy got into a competitive swimming match and you soundly whipped him. These are all great ways to start a best man speech. Turn those fond memories into good-natured joking at the beginning, and you are off to a great start. You will have the whole room's attention, and a good starting joke will keep them rapt throughout your best man speech.
Write Your Best Man Speech Early
Your best man speech is definitely not something you want to wait until the last minute to tackle. There are a million and one things to do as the best man in the run-up to the wedding. There's shopping for coordinated formal wear for all the groomsmen, setting up a killer bachelor party, and so much more. Therefore, the second you win the coveted role of best man, you need to start writing your best man speech.
Many events will happen between the time you win the role of best man right up until the wedding. These events will likely contain some incredible memories. You can use some of these memories as part of your best man speech. Perhaps you had a heart to heart with your best pal when he told you he would bestow this honor upon you. Perhaps you sat down with the happy couple when they announced their engagement, and something from that moment in time really sticks with you. Therefore, as you begin to write your best man speech, take all of that into account. Give yourself at least a couple of months to write it, to make sure that there is plenty of time for important revisions, so that you include everything that you want in this all too important speech.
Run Your Speech By Other People
Sometimes, we can have blind spots when it comes to our own work. A best man speech is an endeavor that is far too important to mess up because of simple pride. Once the preliminary version of your best man speech is written, seek out a small audience of friends who will tell you the truth about the quality of your speech. They will be able to tell you if your jokes are corny, unfunny, or even downright inappropriate. In short, your friends might be the one stop between you delivering the greatest best man speech ever and making everyone at the wedding uncomfortable, all while making a fool of yourself to boot.
Have your friends be brutally honest about everything from the content of the speech to your delivery of the words themselves. Ask them to tell you if you are boring, or if the speech is too long or too short. Have them critique your tone of voice, and ask them if you sound forced. Repeat this process repeatedly, with every single version of your best man speech, until you get it just right.
Things To Avoid In Your Best Man Speech
This is the not so fun part. It is also completely necessary. Let's face it, there are certain things that simply do not belong in speeches at a wedding. So, let's give the rundown of things that you definitely want to avoid in your best man speech for your best mate's wedding.
- Avoid any jokes about the bride. This is more of a cultural thing, honestly. Many modern women are just fine with having jokes made at their expense. However, chances are you know the groom a lot more intimately than you know the bride. Leave her out of your joking banner, and only speak of her in sincerely glowing terms. If there are to be jokes made at the bride's expense, leave that her matron of honor.
- Keep the jokes PG and below. Remember - there will be people of all ages there. While here in 2018 millenials might be just fine with sexually themed jokes, chances are the older crowd will be put off by them - or worse, downright offended. This is simply not the time to mention your buddy drinking in the hotel hot tub with six women on that aforementioned road trip.
- Do NOT, under ANY circumstances, mention exes. We all have a past. That's a given. Most of us go through all kinds of relationships before finding "the one." While you and your buddy might joke amongst yourselves about his crazy ex who stalked him after he dumped her, the bride, her family, and likely many other guests will want absolutely nothing to do with listening to that.
- Don't joke about the pitfalls of marriage. We've all heard the jokes - he's "tied down" now. His bachelor party was the last time he'll ever see a stripper for the rest of his life. He's now got his own "old ball and chain." While, like most jokes that land, there can be a kernel of truth with these things, a wedding is hardly the time to trash the institution of marriage. While many people are foregoing marriage these days - or even just don't believe in monogamy - you're at a wedding. That is an event to celebrate the very traditions such jokes mock.
The Bottom Line
This wedding is the most important day of the life of someone you love very much. You have been entrusted with one of the most important tasks on that day, which is being the best man. We all know that weddings take a tremendous amount of planning, and the run-up to such events has already been taken extremely seriously.
The happy couple has had to consider whether they even want to get married at all. They have had to choose the perfect rings, and figure out how the processional should go. Now, it is your turn. You are the best man, and you have to deliver a killer best man speech that will bring the house down. Hopefully, the advice above will help you do just that, so that you can be the awesome best man we all know you can be.