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Bridal Shower “Wediquette”: Invite Them Not The Guest List Says!

We all have expectations of our wedding day. We want certain people there to celebrate with us, we don’t wish to have others there to celebrate with us. We have those given family members and friends that will be there to celebrate with us, congratulate us, and love us on our wedding day. They support us on our big day, from big life events to our bridal shower. But what of those that pop up in our lives here and there to show support or catch up throughout life?

So now… Let’s set the scene. You and your fiance have set a budget. You’ve booked your vendors and your guest list is set. Your invitations are sent out and all that you have to do is wait for your big day. You focus on the little details until the day arrives.

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THEN your maid of honor takes the reins for the bridal shower… She goes off of your list that you have compiled for your guest list. She sees that there are people “missing” from the list; Old high-school acquaintances, college friends, and work buddies.

So the questions is… Should she or can she invite them even if they aren’t on the guest list for the wedding?

The Answer

Plain and simple… No. The reason for a bridal shower is to receive gifts for your new home together, financial assistance, and to have girl chat.


Inviting someone to the bridal shower but not the wedding is like you’re saying, “Hey, come celebrate me and give me presents but I really don’t want to pay for you to attend my wedding!”. ( Tip: However you decide to do your seating chart, let your maids know that, that is a strict guest list because you don’t want to be that rude bride!)

The Alternatives


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If it means a lot to you for you to have these “new guests” or the people that may have slipped your mind there (if your bridal shower isn’t a surprise), then re-adjust your budget. A couple more people may not break the bank, but it may put you over budget. Re-evaluate your guest list and see if you can fit them in.

Declined RSVP’s

If you can’t “fit them in”, wait until you get RSVP’s back that were gracefully declined. If they are really supportive they will be thrilled to be included.


Catch up as a group through lunch. Don’t make the lunch about you or your neglect to them including them on your guest list. Make it a easy day that not only give you a break from wedding planning, but it allows you to remember life outside of the wedding life!

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Game Night

Bonding over game night?? How fun! Each can bring a game and a dish and play away! The laughs, the food, and the games will be a great reminder of why you’re friends in the first place!

Leave Well Enough Alone

So there may be a reason they weren’t originally on the guest list. Obviously the bride has a plan for her big day. If the bridal shower is a surprise, you may not have the convenience of asking the bride as a courtesy; just be conscience that if they guest that you are looking to invite isn’t on the wedding guest list, it may be rather rude to invite them to the bridal shower.

Although it may be a nice surprise for the bride for someone she hasn’t seen in a long while, that guest may have hard feelings toward the situation at hand and not being invited. This being such a fine line, go with your gut. The bride will be thrilled either way to celebrate with her friends and family!

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