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The Dreaded MOH Choice: Who Will You Choose?

Brides, you’ve got the responsibility of choosing your maid of honor and your bridesmaids for your big day. These will be the girls that help you through the entire wedding planning process. But what are the consequences that come with choosing who we give the honor of “maid of honor” to?


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Give yourself plenty of options of who to consider as your maid of honor. This may sound shallow to have options for your maid of honor, but your MOH will be your right hand man. You will want her to have the knowledge, time, and ability to get everything done that you need to get done.

You may have a good idea who you would like to have in your wedding party, but be sure to specially consider who will be your right hand man that will not only get the job(s) done, but will support you and love you even if you are un-lovable.

The Best Candidate

The best candidate doesn’t have to be your sister if that isn’t who you want your maid of honor to be. If you wish it to be your best friend that you met five years ago, appoint her as your MOH. The best candidate doesn’t have to have a title with a reputation of knowing you for years and years.


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The MOH will have a ton of responsibilities to complete from the bridal shower to all of the in-between stuff. Be sure that ALL of the bridesmaids and the MOH know their duties. If you are an extremely organized person, be sure to delegate duties out to each of your maids so that they feel that they had a similar sense of  value that is all around the same.

You Will Have Hurt Feelings

Just know that you will have maids that feel as though they should have been given that honor. They may feel as though you picked the wrong girl.. All you can do is explain, kindly, one on one. Don’t do it in a group setting; some girls may be ok with the decision and it doesn’t need to be broadcasted that there are issues.

Explaining to your maid why you have chosen the lady that you have chosen, can open their eyes to why and allow them to see the reasons why you chose someone other than them. Although they still may be upset, there will at least be a reason as to why and not just a shot to the ego.

No Pressure

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If you were the maid of honor in your really good friends wedding and they believe that they are going to be the yours… Let them know as soon as you know that, that may not be the case. You have no obligation to anyone to have them as your MOH.

Don’t be pressured into having someone as your MOH if you really don’t want them to be your appointed MOH. This is your day, choose who you give the honor to solely on who you feel should have that honor.

The emotional statuses that come with choosing your maid of honor are inevitable.  You cannot avoid them and you can’t change them, but your can surely plan for the best. Be sure to calmly explain why you made your decision to the one that had the issue.

Heck, depending on how many attendants you have, some of your girls may be thankful that they dodged that bullet (after all, being a MOH is a lot of work.)! Think it out and plan carefully. You got this! Happy planning!


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