Friendship can be such a gift. Especially so when strong bonds form between mom friends. Maybe your best friend got married and started a family around the same time that you did. Or maybe you just really clicked immediately with the new mom on the block. It can be a social and emotional benefit to both and your kids to hang out together. Play dates, field trips, and shared babysitting duties are some things that you can mutually benefit from.
But what happens when your friend's kids are your worst nightmare? Maybe they even torment your own kids or set a bad example for them. When do you say enough is enough, and cut off the friendship with your friend because of her ill behaved kids? I'm going to go over when it is time to cut those friendship ties in today's article.
When Her Kids Are Physically Hurting Yours
A squabble here and there between kids is a normal part of growing up. When dealt with constructively, you can even use the aftermath of a kid fight to teach your child some valuable lessons. You can discuss what started the fight, and talk about other ways to deal with anger other than physically lashing out.
But when another parent's kids continually pick on or hurt your kids, it may be time to break off the play dates and possibly the friendship. If your children are suffering (crying or getting angry) every time that you get together, this is a good sign that enough is enough.
When Your Friends Kids Are A Very Bad Influence On Your Kids
Kids learn from each other. It's really as simple as that. Kids imitate and often want to try out behaviors that they've watched other kids do. If your friend's kids are causing your own children to start to use profanity or acting unkindly towards others, it most often than not will be the time to break off the relationship with your friend. Though it may be awkward and hard to break off a friendship, you will have dodged some bullets down the road with your own kids by ending it now.
When You're Tempted to Discipline Your Friend's Kids
It isn't going to work well for you to become the disciplinarian of your friend's kids. It may be tempting and it may have stopped some unruly behavior in the past, but disciplining your friend's kids isn't going to solve much. Your friend's kids will know that they can get away with what they want until their own parent puts her foot down. It simply isn't your job to discipline someone else's kids.
When You and Your Friend Are Starting To Have Disagreements About Each Other's Children
If you and your friend don't see eye to eye on what you expect of her children's behavior, it could lead to some heated discussions. It may be time to kindly accept that you have different expectations from your children and break the friendship ties. If you are already arguing about this, chances are it will get more intense as time goes on.
If the thought of someone else being upset with your parenting skills or how your children acts offends you, chances are that your friend will feel the same way when confronted with the same issue. Try talking to your friend about the issue, before completely cutting off ties. But if your words are not received well and if there is no change in her children's behaviors, it really is best for you and your kids to part ways. Intentionally look for other mom friends who have better behaved kids. You will find them. It may not be overnight and it may take some searching but in the end it will be worth the effort.