Changes, Changes and More Changes!
So I know you’re all super excited during the wedding planning process, looking at your man and knowing you get to spend the rest of your life with him. That guy is TAKEN! It really feels great to say. After marriage often comes starting a family, something many couples decide to do, and something many women think about well before they’re even married.
Well Dan and I had a little surprise back in October and found out we are expecting a little one this coming June. Doing what we felt was right we had a small little ceremony in January, I can finally say I’m married! If you follow all of my other blog posts, you’ll know we had a wedding planned for September 2017… Well we’re still doing that! Now we just have one little extra guest to add to our list!
Although I am expecting now, well before I found out, I would often think about my future children and the day I’d become a mom. Of course I always knew Dan would be the guy my kids would call Daddy. I know I’m not the only one, I mean how many of you out there just look at your man, and think about the day you get to have children with him. Daydreaming about the amazing father you know he’ll be. I’m sure a lot of you right now are thinking about it with a big smile on your face! It’s an amazing feeling to create a life with the person you love!
January 30th we received the best news in finding out that our sweet little baby is going to be a BOY! Although I would love a “mini-me” it melts my heart just a little more envisioning Dan with his little boy, teaching him sports, and how to get dirty! So today I want to write a letter that I’m sure most of you will be able to relate to. A letter to the man my kids will call daddy!
Man Oh Man
We started off eight years ago as coworkers that couldn’t seem to fight the attraction that kept pulling us closer. I remember coming in on my day off and sat with my family as you served us lunch. My mom kept making comments about the “cute waiter” and if I was interested at all. Of course I responded with a “no way! He’s too old for me.” But little did she know, I was already falling for you.
Fast forward 8 years and here we are. More in love then I ever thought possible, and expecting a sweet baby boy. Part of me always knew it’d be you, the other part of me never thought I was lucky enough.
We’ve talked about everything, our hopes, our dreams, what we want and see in our future. Our visions have always fit so perfectly together. I have fallen head over heels in love with your chivalry, your determination, and everything that you are. Since the first day, I knew you. I knew the man you were, the man you could be. I saw the man that would be the most amazing husband and father to our future children.
I hope that parenting comes easy for us, and that it only makes us stronger then we were before. I will hold your hand tight and we will tackle every obstacle life and parenthood throws at us – together. I know I’ll always pray for a girl, while you secretly hope for a boy, but knowing that when it comes down to it, we are both just as happy with a beautiful healthy baby.
We will promise each other nothing will change, but we both know that it will. I often spend time thinking about the moment I see our baby in your arms for the first time. It brings a smile to my face and a gentle warmth to my heart. I can picture you now, arms locked, shoulders raised, looking completely uncomfortable. But I know it won’t take long for it to become so natural to you.
I look at you now and I feel so much love, yet I know that what I feel now is nothing compared to the love I will feel watching you with our child. Teaching him soccer, and how to be the perfect gentleman. He’ll grow up right beside you, he’ll develop a love for the outdoors, and dirt bikes, and if our baby grows up to be anything like his daddy, I’ll know I’ve done something right.
I’m sure there will be times we don’t agree on how we should discipline or who’s going to be playing chauffeur for the day. But know I will never forget how much I love you and how we are the perfect team. I’ll watch our children climb up on your lap around bedtime and my heart will skip a beat as I am reminded of the father I always knew you’d be. For a dad doesn’t just take care of a child, but he takes care of the whole family.
I think about the nights he will be daddy’s boy, and although I’ll make comments in the moment on how I wish he wanted his mama, my heart will secretly be mush seeing how much our child adores you as he curls up in your arms. Thinking about watching you care for him and love him, already makes my eyes tear up with joy. I don’t know how I got to lucky, but I thank God everyday for you and the blessings we have – that I have.
Oh man, and if we one day have a girl, she will have your heart wrapped around her little fingers. I don’t know what will melt me more, seeing you with your little man, teaching him how to be the best possible person he can be, or having a little girl who just absolutely adores her daddy. That little girl will be so lucky yet at the same time have such a hard time finding someone one day, because you will set the bar so high. Every father is a little girls first love, and she would be so lucky to have you.
Life with you has been so amazing, and this is only just the beginning. With the first time our baby wraps their little fingers around yours, you’ll know you’re already in deep. You’ll know that even as a stranger, they hold all your love. As they grow up, we’ll remember all the firsts together. The first time they smiled or laughed, their first words, first steps, and we’ll smile and remember how it all started. Two people in love sharing the same dream. I know you’ll be the dad that lets nothing slow you down. The dad that I always hoped my future children would have.
We’ll live in the moment, and it’s those little moment I’m looking forward to the most. The nights where my energy is nonexistent and I walk in the room to find you passed out with our son cuddled up on your chest, sleeping. It’s in those moments that I’ll know it’s all worth it. The sleepless nights, the endless diaper changes, the date nights so far and few in between. It’s in those moment where I will realize that I have the two most amazing men in my life, and that I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
I wish I could perfectly tell you how I feel but some things can’t be placed into words and retain their deepest meanings. I can’t perfectly describe how I feel when I curl up in your arms and find my notch where my head nestles just right. I can’t explain to you that all I want in life is to spend forever with you, and that I want it to go as slowly as possible. I can’t explain the way my heart flutters when you place your head on my belly and so desperately try to hear your little boy. And I want you to know, especially when my eyes are angry and my voice is either numb or shrill, the times I’m running on no sleep and drowning in dirty diapers, that I choose you over and over again, and that I’ll do that forever. While I don’t know for certain what forever means, I’m certain that my forever and yours are intertwined.
We’re just two people that started it all. One happy family. One shared dream. One great life.
Thank you for being everything that you are. Thank you for being mine.