We all have those friends and family members that have no manners. They are bound to ask the questions that you will find rude. You may not know how to answer them, in fact, you may not even have to answer them at all. So how do we politely respond to those pesky, albeit rude questions and comments?
“Why such a long (Or short) engagement?”
You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone. Really, you don’t. This is just one criticizing you for something that they don’t understand. Maybe you want a short engagement because when you know, you know! Or maybe you want the long engagement for time to pay off your wedding to make smarter financial decisions.
Either way, you do not have to explain yourself or your decisions to anyone but you and your fiance (after all, you are going to have to be making decisions with that one person for the rest of your life…)!
Solution: Focus on the positive. Be sure to let that person know that you’ve got things under control; That you and your fiance are working together to make your wedding happen.
“Can’t wait for my invite!”
Errrr…. Sure you can’t! Realize that your weddings isn’t about the reception. The point of a wedding, is to get married and celebrate the marriage. A lot of guests see this as just a big party. Understand that you don’t have to invite every person that you have come in contact with. Your third cousin who you never see doesn’t need to make an appearance and nor do your co-workers.
Solution: Let them know that you’ve not completed the guest list. This avoids hurt feelings of directly saying, “heck no!”.
“It won’t last”
Well… How do they know that it won’t actually last? Often times, when this comment comes into play, it is a reflection on their own problems. Life is hard enough without the negative comments.
Solution: Express to them that you are sorry to hear that they think that way. Let them know that you and your fiance are sincerely excited for the future and you can’t wait to see what it holds.
“Are either of you even ready to be married?”
Grow up. Really… Are any of us ever really ready to get married? Are any of us really ready to grow up? NO! But we grow, learn, and adapt. That is what humans do! And why is it any of their concern, anyway?
Solution: Ask the question back… “Are any of us really ready” and move on. That is it, don’t pay it any mind. The more you dwell on it, the more you’ll question and self doubt.
Money… Anything With Money…
Money should never be the topic of conversation when it comes to your personal life. Don’t give them the satisfaction of an actual answer. It isn’t a question that you ask someone… at all.
Solution: Again, turn the question back to them, “Well how much do you make a year?”, guaranteed they won’t want to answer it. And quite frankly they deserve the embarrassment that, that rhetorical question will bring.
The “Can’t wait for my invite” is scary, but the plus one is even scarier… Especially if you haven’t given them the option to bring a plus one. Assuming that they just assumed that it was ok, it still isn’t ok to bring that plus on unless you’ve specified that to them.
Solution: Explain. Weddings can be tricky. Anyone who has planned one can understand that. Just let them know, “At this time, the guest list is full and finalized to a certain number of guests, so unfortunately, we cannon accommodate your date.”
A house… Kids… The whole nine yards… Asking about these things is only human nature and often times they are just curious and excited to hear about your future endeavors. But often times they may forget about other factors, such as, college, work, and money.
Solution: Let them know that you are excited to see what the future hold for the two of you. Also, let them know that you are taking things slowly, that you wish to enjoy each others’ company before you bring more responsibility on to yourselves.
You’re bound to get these questions at some point during wedding planning or maybe even during your wedding. Sometimes these questions are asked to you and not meant to mean any harm, but often times people ask for their own personal reasons.
Don’t get angry or overwhelmed with these questions, just prepare yourselves to answer them calmly and quietly. Prepare yourself and happy planning!