Should The Ex Be Included On The Guest List?

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Young worried woman recalling old times with ex-boyfriend

So let’s set the scene… You and your ex broke up ages ago but you decided to stay the best of friends. We all have the one relationship that has ended but won’t go away, sometimes in a good way, sometimes in a bad way. The one where there are no “feelings” there, but you remain great friends and wish to share your special day with them and the rest of your family… But how do you know when to invite that ex or when not to invite them to your big day?

Yes, Invite Them If…

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Is Everyone Comfortable?

If everyone is 150% comfortable with having your ex there, go ahead and invite them. You don’t want to make anyone feel awkward during your big day by having someone there that would change the balance of your big day from happy to anxious.

Kids Together?

Do you have kids together with this ex that would be devastated if they didn’t get to see their kid or kids in the wedding? Them coming to the wedding doesn’t have to be a selfish move on your part. Let them join in and celebrate with you and your kids!

Was It Really A Relationship?

This may sound like a strange questions, but were you ever really a thing? Were you together for a substantial amount of time or was your relationship just a quick burst that left you with funny stories to tell you friends, like a middle school relationship? Can he really be counted as an ex? If they aren’t really an ex, they must just be a friend, right?

 

No, Stay Away From Inviting Them If…

Are You Worried It will be Awkward?

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If you feel that there is any chance at all that this could be awkward, DON’T DO IT. You do not need to have the pesky thought lingering in the back of your mind of them attending your wedding and how it will feel with everyone else there.

How Will You Introduce them?

If you have any question on how to introduce them, you may want to shy away from sending them an invite. Don’t have them defined as a friend or if you aren’t sure how to introduce them, just save yourself the embarrassment of that. If you don’t know how to introduce them, you probably don’t know what they actually are to you and shouldn’t be in attendance.

Is Anyone Uncomfortable?

I am pretty sure that you and your groom will feel uncomfortable, unless it is a special circumstance, but this day is about you. You don’t need to add any more stress to your day by inviting your ex-boyfriend.

Was He Friends With The Groom?

Unless the groom is comfortable with having is “once-friend” and your ex-boyfriend there, I would say just 86 the idea all together. You don’t want to make anyone have to worry about watching what they say or how they act. And you definitely don’t want to have a fight break out because of hard feelings.

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Do Your Parents Like Him Better Than The Groom?

Let’s. Talk. About. Awkward! Holy moly! That poor groom. We all know about the one that got away, but if mom and dad liked him more than the groom, don’t even mention his name. Just keep it to yourself. He does not need to be there. You do NOT want to start your marriage with hard feelings from your ex-boyfriend and parents.

 

Is it really worth it to have your ex-boyfriend make an appearance on your big day? Probably not, unless you answered these questions honestly! In fact, they really aren’t even questions, so much as key points that should be brought to your attention. Think carefully and make your decisions wisely. Happy planning!

 

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