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How To Stay Friends When You Have Kids First

A new life begins after you have children.  That means you'll have a busier schedule.  While this may be fine for you, it can also tear some friendships apart with women who don't have children yet.  Today I'm going to go over how to stay friends when you have kids first. Remember that all you can do is try to stay friends and love on her.  If she rejects you, then perhaps she wasn't a true friend.  Let's take a look at how you can stay friends with someone who doesn't have kids yet.

Don't Only Talk About Your Children

When you have kids, they are going to become a main part of your conversations.  While some stories may catch your friend's interest, other stories will probably not.  She doesn't have kids, so she probably won't care too much about how to change a baby's diaper or how your child got a scratch on his knee.  It's OK to talk a little about your child, but don't make it be the whole conversation.  Spend some time talking about subjects you are both interested in.  Also make sure to ask your friend how she's doing and if anything new is going on.

Include Her In On Baby Care

Don't assume your friend doesn't want to see your baby.  She may feel neglected if you don't include her in on baby care.  She may also enjoy the experience of caring for a baby. You could give her simple tasks such as baby sitting or feeding your baby.  Or she could come along when you take your baby to the park to play.  These simple chores could make her day and keep your friendship going strong.

Keep Communicating

When you have kids, things will get busy.  It is easy to forget about your friend and instead get caught up with your busy schedule.  Make sure that you spend some time talking with her, even if it is on the phone.  Don't forget to ask how her day is going, and talk about subjects you both are interested in.  Once in a while meet up for a special date such as going to get ice cream or a cup of coffee.  When you have kids, don't stop communicating with your friend.  Make sure you talk to her on a regular basis.

Spend Some Time Alone With Her Without Your Kids Right There

If there ever was a time to have a "girls night out", now is the time.  This doesn't mean that you leave your kids for hours.  In fact, you can invite your friend over and just keep your kids in another room.  Although your friend may like your kids, if they are there for every single conversation you have with her she may feel awkward or embarrassed.  Try to spend some alone time with her without your kids right there.

Make Some Mom Friends

Don't feel like you can only have your non mom friend as a friend.  You can make new mom friends too.  Actually, this may help keep your old friendship going well.  This is because when you have kids, you will probably want to talk about them often.  From their first cry to their first birthday, you will have plenty of stories to tell.  Your friend may think the stories are boring, but other moms will know the feelings you felt and will be interested in the stories.  They may even have some tips for you.  Besides making you feel encouraged, having mom friends will help you keep your other friendships strong.  You won't have to talk about your kids the whole time you're with your friend, since you get to do that when you're with your mom friends.

When You Make Mom Friends Don't Neglect Your Other Non-Mom Friend

When you have a baby, you are probably going to make some new friends.  And that is great.  It can be fun to share stories of your little one with mothers who have experienced the same moments that you are.  But when you make new mom friends, don't suddenly abandon your friend that isn't a mom.  As fun as it is to talk to someone who has children just like you do, remember that you and her are friends.  Remember to spend some time with her once in a while.  This is especially important if you are close friends.  If you don't, she may feel left out and neglected.

Final Thoughts

It can be difficult to find time for your non mom friend after you have kids.  But not communicating or spending any time with her can result in a broken friendship.  It can also be annoying or awkward for your friend if all you do is talk about your kids.  In this article I went over some tips for staying friends with someone who isn't a mom yet.  Remember that it is OK to make some new mom friends.  This can actually be a good thing, since you will be able to talk about your kids to someone who really cares and is interested.  Just be careful that you don't suddenly abandon your non mom friend and start hanging out with mom friends.  Still spend some time going out on dates with her or calling her on the phone.  It may take some time for her to adjust to your new lifestyle, but hopefully the two of you will stay friends.

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