Suffering form Mom Guilt? Time to get over it with these honest reminders.
Whether you are a working mom or not. Mom guilt is something all too real that every mom will feel at one point or another. While mom guilt can do a lot as far as messing with your psyche, you need to start off by knowing that it is absolutely normal to go through it. Today, we are going to go over some of the top mom guilt trips that you have probably experienced( or are still going through). Better yet, we have got some tips to change your frame of thinking as well.
1. Being a Working Mom
When it comes to mom guilt, this one is most likely to take the cake. Although moms who work and moms who don't work are both superheroes, it is not uncommon for working moms to feel a definite guilt trip about leaving their baby every day. If you are like many working moms in America, then your maternity leave is usually about 12 weeks. Unless you can plan out a pregnancy (like many lucky teachers do), then it is extremely hard to separate from your baby after those 12 weeks.
For many moms, going back to work is not an option we make lightly. Though the mom guilt trip does suck, there are some things you can do to ease the mommy guilt. For starters, it is all about perspective. If you didn't go to work, then you will not be establishing financial security for you and your family.
If you are lucky enough to have a job that can let you work remotely, then see if you can take advantage of that. Working from home will give you the flexibility of being with your child when they absolutely need you all while getting your work done. It may take a little longer and it may be a little tedious to get your work done, but you will have an added sense of comfort because your child is just a couple of doors away. Finally, being a mom is stressful as is. If going to work is something that you have to do, then think of it this way. Your time away from your baby is just as valuable as your time with your baby. Consider work to be the time that you devote for yourself in terms of giving yourself a break.
2. Feeding Your Baby Formula
Time and time again, this next mom guilt trip has been the number one reason moms beat themselves up about. Although studies have shown the benefit and absolute wonder of breast milk, moms often stressed out and less and feel less than adequate when they decide to give their baby formula. Many moms give their baby formula for several reasons. For some, it's just the decision that they want to go with from the get-go. For others, formula is means to a problem when they are having difficulty producing their own breast milk.
Your baby has to eat. Whether they are drinking breast milk or supplement using formula or are on formula specifically, you cannot stop your baby from eating. Not only that, but according to the Center for Disease Control, just under half of U.S. moms stop breastfeeding at 6 months. It is at this point where they either exclusively or supplementary introduce formula. If you are feeling mom guilt about feeding your child formula, then know that over 67% of moms have reported that their baby has had formula in the first 6 months of life. Now it's not wise to follow the "if they do it, then I should to " mentality. But, when it comes to your baby, what works for the masses generally will work for you too.
Formula has a negative stigma to it. Yes, it's true that formula may not have all the health benefits that breastfeeding provides but that doesn't mean formula is not good for your baby. In fact, formula is jam-packed with nutrients and vitamins that are essential to your baby's growth. Why would you ever feel guilty about that?
3. Using the T.V. as Your Babysitter
With the growth of technology, having access to a tablet, phone, or TV is rapidly increasing. With this increase, it is just a matter of time before your little baby joins in on the frenzy. One of the biggest mom guilts is using television or electronics as a distraction or babysitter for your little one. While it is not hard to understand why that doesn't stop many moms for beating themselves about it.
While turning on the TV for your little one and going about the house to tidy it up is something all moms have done at one point or another, it is time to get over it. Moms are human beings too. Contrary to popular belief, our superheroes abilities are actually quite limited. Cleaning up the house, making lunch and dinner, and finding time to stuff some food in our faces can be all difficult if not impossible tasks with a baby on our arms. Sometimes, we need that television set to help us out. Now, of course, you do not want to stick a screen in front of your child's face just because. But if you're using the assistance the television set when you have no choice but to do so, don't worry. We're all moms and we have all been there. More importantly, from thousands of mom to another, there is no judgment here. There should certainly be no judgment on yourself either.
4. Using Disposable Diapers Instead of Reusable Ones
While it is easy to watch all the perfect moms on TV with their perfect reusable diapers and their perfect mothering tips, the reality is quite different. Being a mom whether it's a first-time mom or a fourth time mom is no walk in the park. If you have Mom guilt over the fact that your little one is in disposable diapers instead of reusable ones, then save the heartache for something else.
Not only is there nothing wrong with using disposable diapers, but having mom guilt over it is just a plain waste of your time. Yes, using disposable diapers is not necessarily eco-friendly. And yes, using disposable diapers is not an all natural way to go. And of course, how can we forget how expensive disposable diapers are? But for most moms it is all about using your time wisely. For some moms (stay at home or working), it is just not feasible to use reusable diapers. For starters, we don't blame you if you don't have time to wash diapers several times a week. You shouldn't blame yourself either. Next, as long as your baby is being taken care of in the poopy and pee-pee department why are you adding undue stress to yourself? If you are brave enough to try the reusable diaper method, click here to learn more.
The next time someone (yourself included) tries to mom shame you or give you a mom guilt trip for using disposable diapers, tell them to save it. Instead, check out apps like Krazy Coupon Lady or Ibotta to save some extra bucks on all the disposable diapers that you could ever dream of. If using disposable diapers gets you down because they are so economically unfriendly, then focus your time and energy on making up for it in other ways. For example, try unplugging appliances that you do not use on a daily basis. Not only that, but you can focus on using less water or electricity on your everyday experience.
Discipline is another facet of being a parent that can give you a mom guilt trip. When it comes to discipline, there are a couple of things that you may want to keep in mind. For starters, your disciplining skills and techniques are very much different than say a friend's or a neighbor's. Even when it comes to your partner. The two of you might have very different parenting skills as well. If you ever get mom guilt because of the way you discipline Then that is something that you need to tell yourself is a no-no right away. Whether it is you guilt tripping over how you discipline your child or someone else telling you how to discipline your child. At the end of the day only you know what is best for your kid. And when you have nothing but the best intentions for them, chances are you are guilt tripping unnecessarily.
If you are worried about not being the best disciplinarian, then informing yourself about the latest discipline habits is one of the best places to start. Not only should you think about enrolling in a parenting class. But consider purchasing and reading up on literature about discipline. Doing this will not only help ease your mind about whether you are doing it right or wrong. But you will learn some tips that will make parenting a heck of a lot less difficult.
Moms have it bad. Not only are they amazing. But for some undue reason, we feel that it is necessary to stress out over every decision we make. At the end of the day, focusing your attention on your child and less on what it is that you (think) you are doing wrong is one of the best ways to approach parenting. If you ever feel yourself riding the mom guilt train again, know this. No matter what you are doing wrong, there a several hundred things you are doing through the day. And when it comes to your child, that is what your little one will remember.
Related Article: 6 Pieces of Advice to Help You Conquer Mom Guilt.