Motherhood is the most rewarding journey of life. There is nothing as special as watching your child develop from the womb into a grown adult. From reaching the anticipated milestones to building lasting memories, motherhood is indescribable. However, as much love as a mother has for her child; she needs some grown-up time. Mamas go through so many ups and downs (just in one day), and it’s easy to feel alone, even if they are married or raising the child with someone. So many moms will admit that they feel isolated.
If moms don’t have mom friends, they need to find some. Just as it takes a village to raise a child, I believe it takes a village to raise a mother. It’s confusing. It’s hard. It’s crazy. It’s draining. It’s lonely.
Perhaps you’re thinking, “well, I do have friends. They just don’t have kids.” If that’s you, I want to tell you that mom friends can offer advice and comfort like no one else can. Mothers need other moms to encourage, support, guide and laugh with. But, if you don’t already have young moms in your life, where can you find some?
As funny as it may be to admit, we as moms need help making friends! And that’s okay! So, here are three mom tips to help you find other mom friends.
This goes for all moms, whether you’re a stay at home mom or not. As a fellow stay at home mom/part-time working mom, I understand how tempting it can be to just stay in the house all day. It’s easier to stay in when you have to lug around a heavy car seat everywhere or take a preschooler with you. I understand how comfortable it is to stay in pajamas or yoga pants all day without any makeup on. But you aren’t going to make any friends by staying cooped up in your house. Get out and go to “hot spots” where other moms are likely to be. This includes parks, libraries, zoos, baby events, or anywhere aimed for children.
Put Yourself Out There
I know this sounds a bit like dating, but it sort of is. Simply going to a “hot spot” isn’t going to magically produce a mama friend for you. You’ll have to be friendly, introduce yourself, and strike up a conversation. Make sure you have your kids meet the potential friend and child as well. If you don’t feel like you click, be kind and move on. You don’t have to be friends with everyone. But don’t be so quick to give up either. Friendship does take time, and if it seems like you are bonding, offer to find each other on social media. Be wise giving out your contact information until you are comfortable.
A lot of moms feel too awkward to talk with other moms they don’t know, and have difficulty doing so. If this is you, take comfort because you are about to hear the solution to this problem.
There’s An App For That!
We live in a super convenient, tech-savvy, digital age where there’s always an answer for us online…so welcome to the mom apps that allow you to meet other moms! It’s similar to online dating, but instead of a date, you can find a mom with the same interests located in your area. Here are a few free mom apps, but you can probably find more on your phone:
- Mush-This internationally recognized and successful app allows you to meet other moms in your area or just get advice from other moms on the app.
- Peanut-Moms, Meet– This app was created for mamas with children who have a peanut allergy. This can serve as an amazing support group to an incredibly challenging circumstance.
- Social.mom– Here you can meet local moms, find local deals, have a neighborhood chat, and find activities near you.
- Mom Meet Mom-This is not an app but a website, similar to Match.com that allows you to use the MomFinder to search for friends in your area based on your criteria and interests. This company has also created Preggieapp.com, which is an app that allows pregnant women to connect with other pregnant women to ask prenatal questions.
Whether you prefer to meet in person or find another mom online, you CAN find some mommy friends. But, with that being said, you’ll still have to be ready to be social. Here are a few tips to keep in mind as you meet your mommy soul mate:
- Be Kind-obviously kindness is important. Be polite and friendly. If you don’t seem compatible, just try again, but never be rude.
- Be a Good Listener-everyone wants to feel listened to. Think of questions you can ask other moms, not just about their children, but about themselves as well. And then listen! You can and should talk about your personal life a little bit as you are getting to know each other. But if you spend the majority of the conversation talking about yourself, your child’s issues or how great they are, you probably won’t be staying in touch with that mom.
- Be Yourself-don’t try to act like someone you’re not. You don’t have to pretend you like things you don’t or that your kids are similar if they’re not.
Following these methods and tips could bring you the mom friend you’ve been longing for. Although you might feel awkward when trying to make friends, that feeling will disappear (or at least decrease) the more you try. And it will all be worth it if you find someone who helps you enjoy motherhood and life.