Many people have a love/hate relationship with Fall. It’s the season right after the lazy, romanticized days of summer. To that end, it is filled with back to school shopping for parents, new and challenging class schedules for college students, and other things to challenge people anew. However, those same people might be missing the bliss of summer on some level, but may also be eager to embrace the newness of the season on another.
One thing that comes to mind in Fall is the potential for new romance. After all, with all of the renewed post-summer hustle and bustle of activity, there are endless opportunities to meet people. Therefore, everyone who is single is out and about, maybe subconsciously waiting their turn to be poked by the Autumn cupid. They are looking around cautiously as they peruse the veggie stands at the farmer’s market and sample new craft beer. But, what happens to singles who either don’t snag a new mate or – gasp!- don’t want to? After all, there’s no law saying that every single person must also fall into the category of “single and looking.”
So, what might the new Fall season mean for those of us who are single? This might come as a surprise, but Fall as a single woman can be quite fun. It does not have to mean looking wistfully at all the happy couples going on long walks through the leaves, picking apples, and carving pumpkins. You don’t need to be jealous of their sickeningly cute matching Halloween costumes. In fact, we are here to show you how to do just the opposite, by given you the ultimate – and totally customizable! – Fall bucket list for single women.
Enjoy Being Single
We live in a society that is often not short of obsessed with pairing people off romantically. If you are single like I am, you’ve likely been there. Every family function, well-meaning relatives ask the not-so-innocent- questions about when you plan to “find someone to settle down with,” or some variation thereof. However, did it ever occur to them that perhaps some people just like being single?
The thing is, in the culture in which we live, most people never think of the fact that there is nothing wrong with being single, and, furthermore that it can be quite enjoyable. Sometimes, one of the best things you can do is take some time for yourself, really get to know who you are, and enjoy your time and space. Also, let’s face it – you can do almost anything you do with a partner while single. You also don’t have to compromise, so that makes it all the better. Further, some of the fun of being single really is the art of self-improvement and self-care. Here are just a few things in that arena that will really help you see why you should sit back and enjoy the single life for a minute this Fall:
Be Selfish
I know this might sound ridiculous, but I’m serious. People in relationships and marriages constantly have to compromise. That is not necessarily a bad thing; in fact, compromise is a great skill that will get you far in life. However, there are times when you can be selfish, and when you are single, that is one of them.
Want to go spend $50 at your favorite liquor store on top shelf booze and not share it with anyone? Go right ahead. No one is stopping you. Want to hole up in your apartment all weekend and turn your phone off, while pretending to the world that you are completely unavailable? Again, do it. Splurge on that new pair of shoes and don’t worry about having to tell someone else how much they cost. It’s called self-care, and it is very important. Taking care of yourself is not easy when you have a busy life plus a relationship. But, remember all that time you might otherwise be spending with a significant other? Spend it on you.
Improve Yourself
This one might seem a little contradictory when compared to the first point on this little list but bear with me. While being selfish focuses on indulgence, this particular piece of the list focuses on making yourself a better person. Sometimes, in relationships, we tend to lose ourselves. All of the compromise, time, and resources we churn into making a relationship work can sometimes be detrimental to our individual selves.
So, while you are single, doing things to work on yourself can counteract all of that. Save extra money to have a little nest egg. Take up a fitness routine if you don’t already have one. Clean your house or apartment, and maybe switch your decorations up. Some seasonal fall items could be just the ticket! A bonus to this self-improvement kick is also quite obvious: When you do decide to date again, you will be even more attractive to potential mates than you already are.
Revise Your Dating Standards
This is something I do periodically when single. It keeps things fresh and helps you re-evaluate your own values now and then. We all have deal breakers, and they are as varied as we are as individual women. However, there are a few universal truths that most women who have healthy relationships follow. So, while single, give them a whirl or two:
- Remember: It’s okay to have standards. You are the only one who can decide what is acceptable to you in intimate partner relationships
- Ask yourself what you want in a partner, and stick to it
- Remember that if you run into issues less than three months into the relationship, plant a red flag. More than two red flags and you should run
- Remember that a relationship is only as healthy as the sum of its parts
- Remember that if you can’t love life while single, you won’t love it while coupled
Now that we have the basics of things to do for self-care during singlehood out of the way, here comes the fun part. Without further ado, we give you a fabulous fall bucket list of amazing things to do while single this Autumn.
Meet Some Fellow Singles
Often, when in relationships, we tend to gravitate toward other couples. Also, when we are single and our girlfriends are coupled off, we might start to feel like the proverbial third wheels. Single ladies like us might be happy for our girlfriends, and content with our own single status, but we might also want to do more than sit home while our coupled besties have cuddle time with their mates. Enter: YOUR NEW SINGLE FRIENDS!
Okay, so this piece of advice does not mean that you totally ditch your coupled friends. It just means that you might want to go on out and find some folks who are in the same boat as you are. They might be single, too, and perhaps not really all that into the idea of hunting for their next date. So, where are all these mysterious single women who are looking for friends just like you are? All over the place, that’s where. Here are just a few places you might find folks to hang with:
- Meetup.com. This is a website that does exactly what it says it does. It helps you meet people similar to yourself. You can find anything from gaming groups to knitting groups, and they will be right in your area because you are matched with existing groups by zip code. If the type of interest/group you are looking for does not exist near your city, you can just use the website to start your own.
- Website Forums. Not ready to meet new people out in the wild just yet? No problem! Sometimes, just having a like-minded internet pen pal can help you sort through things. People tend to be less inhibited online, especially behind screen names. It’s pretty easy on larger social networking sites to find people who are in your niche. A great, anonymous place to start is Reddit. It has little community-run subforums, known as subreddits, for literally almost every interest you can think of. Go forth and find your online kindred spirits.
- Local places of interest to you. One of the easiest ways to meet folks who share your interests is to indulge your hobbies. Find a local yoga studio, spin class, pottery workshop, knitting circle, book club, or whatever it is that you are into and hit it up. You will get to do something you love, and likely meet new people along the way. Ironically enough, the easiest way to find these activities is likely the local Meetup.com groups.
Now, there is, of course, no guarantee that the folks in these meetings will be single. But, it is likely that some of them will be. Also, the real bonus here is that you will meet people who share your passions and interests, which is always a great basis for striking up a friendship.
Go Halloween Bar Crawling
So, not everyone is into the bar scene, but if you are, Fall is the perfect time to get into it. Around this time of year, many cities have party buses and other public transport, or a bar strip in its downtown area. For instance, Charlotte, North Carolina is having an amazing nine-hour pub crawl in its uptown area. The event includes drink specials at various bars, costume contests, door prizes, and all kinds of nice goodies. Talk about a great way to meet people! No need to take anyone with you, just go alone and you’re sure to walk out with a pack of friends. Most areas have something akin to this.
Go to Haunted Houses
You can’t go wrong here. Haunted houses are loads of fun for any Halloween junkie. Grab your pals and prepare to be frightened senseless (or laugh at the totally-not-scary monsters). Most of these places cost a minimal amount of money to get into – and some are even free. They vary in degrees of creepiness, so you could go from the totally benign, silly, and fun to the absolutely creepy and horrifying. It’s up to you to decide the limits of your fear threshold. Either way, you’re sure to have a blast at any haunted house you choose – whether you go with your fellow single buddies, or you fly solo.
Throw Your Own Halloween Bash
Want a great, easy, and fun way to build up your social life? Throw your own Halloween party! If you are like me and many of your friends are coupled or married, fear not. Invite them, of course, and get happy couples to help you decorate. When they show up in their cute, matching Halloween costumes, tell them to drag some of their single church buddies, co-workers, or other acquaintances along. That way, everyone has a great time, and you get to meet some new people. Part of the fun of being single is mingling, and what better way to do that than at a party?
Find A Cozy New Hang Out
As it gets cooler outside, we tend to want to snuggle up on the couch at home, away from everything and out of the cold. This is especially true for those who are coupled off. But, what’s a single girl to do? After all, there’s only so much solo Netflixing we can do. Well, never fear, because home isn’t the only place to get warm and snuggly. There are many little hangouts and corners around most towns and cities that are just perfect for ducking in out of the cold on a crisp fall afternoon. Here are just a few:
Used Bookstores That Double As Coffee Houses
There’s nothing like a quaint little bookstore, usually quite cluttered and dusty and full of hidden literary treasures. The best part is that said treasure is usually dirt cheap, and better than anything you’ll find in a commercial bookstore. On top of that, you’re supporting your local merchants, which is always a plus. A big bonus is that many of these little shops also house awesome little coffee and tea counters. They have exotic, organic, and little-known flavors of hot beverages that will warm you right up. So, grab a book or a magazine or two, and settle into one of their comfortably lumpy couches for an afternoon. And oh – these places tend to be a lot cheaper and a lot friendlier than say, your local Starbucks or Dunkin’ Donuts. Talk about a nice fall treat!
Unique Local Eateries
There’s nothing I like more on a cold day than a wonderful bowl of some kind of hot, savory soup. I also enjoy trying varieties that I’ve never had before, and if I like it well enough, I might ask the chef what is in it, so that I can try my hand at my own version of it at home. This is why little local eateries are the best. Usually most big cities especially, but also any large town or small city with a downtown area, will have a local treat or two.
There’s nothing like fresh, homemade food that can’t be gotten anywhere but at this one spot. No matter your tastes – be it vegan, Mediterranean, southern cooking, Paleo, what have you – the result is always the same. Great, local comfort food on a cold Fall day, as you sit by the window with your soup, watching the colorful leaves blow in the brisk wind. There’s nothing else like it.
New Local Workout Locations
When we think of exercise, we think of someone slaving away in a gym to achieve the ever-elusive perfect six pack. But, these days, that is no longer the case. People of all shapes, sizes, and ability levels do all kinds of exercise. If lifting weights, running on treadmills, or other traditional exercise methods aren’t your thing, fear not! There are many, many alternatives.
Try going to a local yoga studio. Most of them offer the option to where you can charge by the class, and they can be amazingly relaxing. You can try them out before making a commitment. They also usually offer all different skill levels and variations. You can do anything from beginning basic yoga to advanced hot yoga. As a bonus, most of them have some kind of smoothie and juice bar inside, where you can sit and refuel after your workout. Most of these types of places offer meditation and other relaxation techniques. Fall is the perfect time to reset and refuel your body, mind, and spirit. What better time to get in better touch with yourself than when you are single?
These are just a few examples of places where you can go and be at one with yourself as you enjoy a nice, cozy environment while the weather gets crisper. Depending on where you live, there may be scores of places for you to explore that you walk right by each day and never thought of. One of the best and most exciting parts of being single is the way you can broaden your horizons in ways you never deemed possible before. Take this season of coolness before the deep freezes of winter to renew yourself.
Open Up A Whole New Culinary World
The holidays are approaching, and of course, that means lots and lots of food. Since you are single, you will likely be going home to your family for the winter festivities. So, what better time to experiment with a few new meals? There are recipes all over the internet, and you have your own place with your own kitchen. There’s nothing like taking a weekend to explore some of the beautiful food boards on Pinterest, or some YouTube videos of everyone from amateur to expert chefs showing you how to make all kinds of interesting new dishes. This is an especially good idea if you dread the holiday pounds that so many of us tend to pack on after trying to be good during the summer and fall.
The internet is the perfect place to find low fat, low carb, Paleo, gluten-free, low fat, and all manner of healthier versions of our favorite food. For instance, I am a pasta junkie, and I have learned to love shirataki noodles instead of real pasta. Sold under the brand name Miracle Noodles, these calorie-free noodles originate in Japan and are made most of konjac yam fiber and water. Of course, they are not like real pasta, but in most instances, you can get them close enough. These noodles are a lifesaver. They even have their own entire Pinterest boards dedicated to them. Here is just one such board.
Another trick is to make “mashed potatoes” out of cauliflower. You just boil the cauliflower until tender like usual in a pot of salted water. Then, using a blender or potato masher, blend the cauliflower into a creamy consistency. Season with garlic, salt, pepper, and a bit of Bragg’s Nutritional Yeast if you want a bit of a cheesy flavor.
These are just two examples of how you can take refuge this fall in your own kitchen, and learn all manner of new things to do with food. Just wait until your family gets a whirl of your new dish at your holiday celebration. And, in the meantime, you could literally spend days on end in your kitchen just experimenting with culinary delights you may never have even dreamed of creating.
Check Out Your Local City’s Fall Festivals
Almost every city has something going on just to celebrate fall. From local versions of Germany’s famous Oktoberfest to plain old local festivals, this is an activity anyone can enjoy solo or with a group of friends. Usually, such festivals sell a variety of interesting food – generally of the traditional German variety if it is Oktoberfest. There will also be lots of different types of beer from breweries. Some towns hold drink specials with local vendors and bars that are near the event site. There are usually fun activities like face painting, or local artists selling their unique work. In other words, there are about a million things to do at one of these shindigs.
If it is not necessarily an Oktoberfest event, the festival could include all kinds of things, regardless of what sort of event it is. It might celebrate the unique history of your local town. For instance, Salem, Massachusetts, famous for its witch trials in the 1600’s, has tours of the witch burning sites to make the town seem even spookier around this time of year. No matter what you like in your festivals, there is sure to be something you can enjoy. Go solo, or with your new single friends!
The Bottom Line
The world we live in expects people to be either coupled off or trying to find a way to get to be half of a couple. However content you might be to remain single, that matters not to many people – something is amiss in your life if you don’t have a mate dangling from your arm. For any number of reasons, though, people might be perfectly alright remaining single. They might even embrace it. That is what this list is all about.
You don’t have to be half of a couple to appreciate the many things there might be to do around your city or town this fall. There are many creative things that you can see out. Many are low cost and tons of fun. Others help you explore things you didn’t know you loved. Still, others help you become the person you have always wanted to be – even if you didn’t know you had improvements to make, or parts of yourself to get to know.
Either way, the point is – being single is not the boring, desperate chore society often makes it out to be. In fact, it might be just what the doctor ordered.
Related Article: 7 Thoughts To Help You Date Again After a Bad Breakup
