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The Ultimate Guide To Getting Through Your First Date

Want to earn a second date?

I’m sure we can all agree,  first dates can be downright awkward. It can be intimidating to meet up with someone you don’t know very well, met online, or a friend who might be transitioning to being more. There is a lot of pressure and expectations that both people have as they come to a first date. So what should you do? What are some tips for surviving the first date? We have the advice for you!

Meet In A Public Place

Especially if you are meeting up with someone, you never met in person! But even if you’ve known this person for years, it can be uncomfortable to go to someone’s apartment alone. At least if you are in a public setting, you have things to look at, people around you to put you more at ease, and even people that are acting strangely you can mock together.

Don’t Overthink Your Outfit

The constant struggle of a first date is what you should wear. How do you look effortlessly cute, while still putting in a lot of effort? What does one even wear to dinner and a movie? I know that it can feel stressful,  but any man that would not see you again because of how you dressed, probably isn’t a super great catch. Try to consult with friends and your mom before you decide on an outfit, but don’t let it keep you up at night.

Let Him Plan It

It can be tough when you first decide to go out on a date, to figure out what you want to do. He might ask you what you want to do, and vice versa, but don’t get roped into planning this date if he asked you out. He should be able to find a way to occupy your time for a few hours.

Come Prepared To Ask Questions

The primary purpose of going on any date is to get to know someone better, but how can you do that if you only talk about yourself? It might help to think of a list of questions you want to ask him if there is a lull in the conversation. Think of things that are important to you and that you like talking about. 

You can ask surface questions like, “What is your favorite TV show right now?” Or, “ What is your favorite food?” But, don’t be afraid to ask some more personal questions to get you past that surface level relationship. So, for example, “ What was a great memory you had from childhood?” Or, “What is your favorite thing about your family?”

Keep It Light

Though you do want to go beyond surface level conversation, there are still some conversations that might not be appropriate to discuss on a first date. So, this date might not be the best time to talk about past relationships or to ask how many kids they would want to have. I know that it might feel like you know them well already, but you don’t. Take some time to ease into your relationship before you ask too many intimate questions. 

Don’t Reveal Your Stalker Tendencies

I know that you might not want to admit that you stalked your date before you went out with him, but we all know that you’re lying. If you are a respectable woman, you have stalked him on all social media platforms, probably looked at his mom’s Facebook, and definitely his ex-girlfriend’s Instagram. But, don’t reveal that you know that much about him. Pretend that you are hearing all information for the first time. Even though he most likely did the same thing, he still has a right to be freaked out if you recite his address to him before he tells you where he lives.

Be Careful What You Eat

If you are going on a date to a restaurant, or some eating is going to be involved throughout the date, these tips can help. 

First, be confident when you are eating. Don’t apologize for how much you are eating, or feel like you need to eat differently because he might judge you for getting a burger. Most guys I know like girls that have a real appetite. Second, make sure that you don’t order any food that makes you sick or needing to go to the bathroom. So the time to eat that cheese that makes you gassy isn’t right now. Thirdly, be careful eating foods that you can spill or get in your teeth. Only you can assess how clumsy you are with the food you eat. If you do spill something, don’t be embarrassed, laugh it off. Mistakes happen, and no first date is perfect. 


Instead of spinning some crazy fantasy that involves you as his wife in your head, make sure you listen to the answers to the questions you ask. Be intentional about spending your evening understanding him better.

Don’t Stress Out About The Goodnight Kiss

The first kiss in any relationship can have a lot of pressure on it. Both parties want to feel that spark and to be as compatible physically as they have been emotionally. But don’t stress out if he doesn’t kiss you on the first date. A lot of people like to know someone better before they kiss them, or be in an actual relationship. If he does choose to kiss you, don’t freak out. Just be natural and kiss him back.

Don’t Ghost Him

Just because you might not have had a great time on your date, doesn’t give you an excuse to be rude. If a guy tries to ask you out again and you’re not interested, just say so. Most guys will respect that you gave them such a straightforward answer that they won’t even be offended. Just make sure that you consider their feelings when you are honest. Not everyone is meant to be together, but that doesn’t mean you should ignore someone until they get the hint. Just be upfront if you don’t want to see them again, romantically. 

Keep Calm

If your date, on the other hand, was fantastic, don’t stress too much while you’re waiting for him to follow up. He may be busy, be trying to play it cool, or a hundred of other reasons that explain why he hasn’t let you know he wants to see you again. The worst thing you can be in this situation is needy.

I hope that some of these tips can help you out when you get ready to go out on your next first date! And, who knows, maybe this first date will be your last.

For some ideas of what you should do for your first date, check out our article here. 

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