Getting pregnant is one of the most joyous feelings in the world. Well, it should be, anyways. But, what if you have a miscarriage, or the baby is stillborn? And, what if the baby dies after only a few months of life from complications at birth? These babies are called Angel Babies. However, there is another term you should know about, and that term is rainbow baby. What is a rainbow baby? Here is everything you need to know about having a rainbow baby.
The Meaning of the Term Rainbow Baby
Once you have lost a baby, due to miscarriage, stillborn, or complications at birth, you feel like you are stuck in a dark and scary place. You feel lost, hopeless, and it probably feels like the end of the world to you. Then, after a while, you get pregnant again and carry this baby to full term, delivering a healthy and happy baby. These babies are what we like to call rainbow babies. Why are they called a rainbow baby? The reason for this term is because a rainbow shows up after a storm has gone through. Once you lose a baby, it is like a storm has gone through your life. However, once you get pregnant and have a healthy rainbow baby, it gives you new hope for the future.
You Will Never Forget Your Angel Baby
Although you had a rainbow baby, you will never forget your angel baby. They say that Rainbow Babies can honor Angel Babies and this is true. While raising your rainbow baby, you will remember your angel baby, and although you are thrilled with the baby you have, you still grieve for the baby you lost. You will never forget, and you shouldn't forget either. You are allowed, but it is also all right to move on with your rainbow baby as well.
There Will be Triggers
After you have your rainbow baby, it will trigger a few things that bring back memories from your angel baby. One trigger is that your rainbow baby may look a lot like your angel baby and this can trigger some grief but mostly happiness. Sorrow for your loss and joy for what you do have now. The hardest triggers you may experience may be the critical milestones missed with your previous child who you lost. Just remember to never forget about the last baby, and now you have a second chance and hope again.
You Will Feel Guilty
You may second guess everything when it comes to having your rainbow baby. You may wonder if you deserve a second chance with another baby. Feelings like these are typical for women who have a baby after losing the previous one for whatever reason. You will feel guilty and feel like other moms are pointing the guilty finger at you. However, this may not be true at all. Getting together with these other moms, who some may be friends of yours, may help you to not second guess the fact that you do deserve to feel happy again. Being around other moms might make you feel better, and you may understand that it is all right to have these feelings, but it is also okay to move on to the future with a second baby.
You Will Feel Afraid
No one said it would be easy. If everything in life were easy, no one would lose a child, whether that child is born yet, a baby, or even an older child. Of course, you will be afraid! Who wouldn't be, right? It is normal to feel scared of moving on, or to feel frightened of losing your rainbow baby as well. These feelings are perfectly healthy.
You Will Cry A Lot!
Once you bring your baby home, this may remind you of the child you lost before. You will cry, a lot! It is normal to cry and let it all out. Don't hold anything back. Just because you had another baby who survived, doesn't mean you are done grieving over the loss of your Angel Baby. Now you have your Rainbow Baby, and things are moving forward in the right direction. But, if you need to cry about your previous child that you lost, no one will judge you. Go for it!
You Might Call Your Rainbow Baby by the Name of Your Angel Baby
You might accidentally call your new baby by the name of the baby you lost. If you do, don't beat yourself up over it. It is all right. It was an accident, don't worry! It is normal because you are always thinking of the baby that didn't make it.
You May Experience Postpartum Depression and Anxiety
Since you got pregnant again after the loss of your last baby, you are at a higher risk for postpartum depression and anxiety. If you are feeling depressed and experience some anxiety, you should speak to a mental health doctor right away. The doctor will know how to treat you properly.
You May Feel Detached or Overprotective of Your Rainbow Baby
You may feel one of two things when having a rainbow baby. First you will feel detached or disconnected from your baby, or you may even feel overprotective and not want anyone else to hold your new baby. Both feelings are reasonable since you just lost a baby but had another one right away.
You May Feel Alone or Isolated
When you first bring home your rainbow baby, you may feel isolated and alone. It is perfectly reasonable to feel this way. You are feeling like this because you don't feel like you deserve to have another baby since you lost the last one. You also don't feel like you belong in any of the new mom's groups.
It is normal to feel everything you are feeling now that you have a new baby in the house. Don't ever put yourself down because you lost the last baby. It wasn't your fault. Now you have a new baby and a second chance at giving your precious rainbow baby the best life you can provide him or her. Good luck!