Are you a single mom? It is easy to feel like you are all alone, when in fact there are so many moms out there in the same position as you are. I know as a single mother myself that I often struggle with similar feelings of inadequacy. I hope that however, you stumbled upon this article today, that you would find encouragement for your current stage of life here.
Involve Your Kids In Your Family Life
You are in this together with your children. They are going to feel a sense of accomplishment and self-worth if they can help out with the household chores and family life in general. Don’t fall into the trap of feeling pity for them by providing them with everything they want.
My daughter and I bring in our own firewood from the mountains as our sole source of heat. She loads while I run the chainsaw. One day while at Tractor Supply, I saw a nice wheelbarrow slightly smaller than the heavy old and broken down one that she uses. I commented how I’d like to buy that soon. Not that day as it wasn’t in the budget, but soon. Her face lit up, and she said, “Can I buy it with my money?” I instantly responded the awe gee, thing and how nice that would be, but told her how mama would buy it for her.
I was thinking how the money she raises selling our chicken and duck eggs, and birthday money should be used for a toy or something special, not a tool used for work. Looking deflated but not ready to give in to my answer, she begged please and reasoned that if it’s going to be something, she is mostly going to use (hauling the wood while I cut it), that she should be allowed to buy it. This touched my heart, and eventually, I relented and let her buy it.
Though you and your family may not be hauling wood together, there might be other chores you can participate in as a family. Why not try cooking a meal together where everyone can pitch in to help mom, or assigning each child a room to clean around the house. Your kids are going to want to help you out, so let them.
Accept Help When It’s Offered
When people offer to help with something, let them. Especially if it’s something, you don’t have a clue how to fix or do. Fixing electrical problems is not in my skill set. When a lovely couple from church asked if they could help us with anything, I made up the usual excuses that we are fine but thank you. Upon further investigation and not taking no for an answer, they realized we needed some electrical help at our barn.
He was an electrician, and this was done in a jiffy. They also helped me install safer lighting by removing old ceiling fans that were black inside from malfunctioning. How we didn’t have a fire they said, was a God thing.
Accept help when it’s offered. Don’t rob people of blessing you and your family by always saying no. Admit that you aren’t doing ok when people ask.
Join A Support Group
Though you love your children, they can’t supply all your emotional needs. So take this time to lean on your family, friends, and other loved ones. If you need to talk to someone and heal, why not find a counselor in your area that can help you with your emotional burden or baggage. You won’t be able to be the best mom you can be if you aren’t taking care of yourself. Try checking out single mom support groups online or in your local community. Just talking to someone who can relate to what you are going through can do wonders.
Find a Schedule That Works For Your Family
As long as you are all getting enough sleep and nutrition, go with a schedule that best fits your family. Don’t compare or worry about what other family’s look like. Be your own family. Own it, love it, and be thankful for your unique family.
Give Yourself a Break
Congratulate yourself for the job you are doing. Enjoy your kids. Do things together. Sometimes it’s better to forget about a messy house and take off to the beach or river instead. There will always, always, always be more work to do. Take a break and forget it. God rested on the 7th day and told us to also. The work and messy house won’t go away. It will be there when you get back, so enjoy life a little more.
Single moms are raising some incredible kids. So the next time that you worry that you aren’t giving your kids this or doing that enough for them take a step back and realize the amazing job you are doing. Don’t let your fears and doubts stop you from believing those words today. If you have any other tips for single mothers, feel free to comment them below!
