Have you noticed your friend list has become shorter since you’ve been married or in a long-term relationship? Whether it’s due to a move or a lifestyle change (like having a baby), it’s pretty common for couples to find themselves with little to no friends.
Or perhaps you and your partner have friends, but they are your single friends you had before getting married. While there are reasons to keep your old friends, there are also benefits to having some couple friends as well.
Why Do I Need Couple Friends?
Couple friends can be beneficial because they will have similar goals in life. They are heading in the same direction and are more likely to want to do the same things. Married friends understand the hardships you’re going through and can walk with you. While these friends don’t have the same history your other friends have with you, they can give you the marital advice or support you may be needing. It also provides opportunities to create new memories with your spouse. And as sad as it is to admit, old friends can come between you and your spouse over issues such as time, finances, parenting, and appropriate activities.
But, making new friends is not as easy as it sounds. Many don’t know how to find couple friends or are too intimidated to do so. Today we are here to help you out with four tips for making friends after marriage.
It’s tempting after a long day of work stay in. But you will not be making friends that way. Commit with your partner to get out, at least once a week. Here are a few ideas:
- Participate in a hobby together and look for other couples there. Join a class, sports team, parent organization, Bible study, etc. to help you find couple friends.
- Take a walk over to your neighbor’s house. You’ve probably already noticed the young couple living near you, so invite them over for a game night.
- Eat at a restaurant with shared dining. Many Japanese restaurants allow for shared tables while they cook your food in front of you. The exciting dinner will help make the encounter less awkward, and you’ll have a built-in topic to discuss.
- Volunteer together. There are a ton of organizations that need volunteers! Not only will you be serving your community, but you will probably find other couples there too.
Is there a co-worker you get along with? Ask him/her to go out dinner or a movie with your spouses. Do you continually make small talk with the same person in the gym? Plan a trip for the four of you to play mini golf. Hear someone you know say their favorite hobby? Offer a time you can all play together. Don’t be afraid to be bold. You may get turned down, just like you could if you were asking someone out on a date. If that happens, try not to take it personally because they may have a whole lot of reasons they said no rather than it being because of you. But, they might say yes, and it could be the first of many outings together. If you think it could be fun, then be bold and ask.
Find Them On The Web
Just as there are tons of dating sites and mom friend sites, there are also sites specifically designed for couples to find other couple friends. Below are a few sites to help you meet friends in your area:
- Kupple.com-This free site is America’s most popular dating site. It is free to join and shows you how to find married friends. You can search for common interests, meet couples in your area, and read tips from the Kupple Blog.
- CouplesList-a place for married and dating couples to find friends. “This site was created to make it easier for couples to meet other couples with similar backgrounds, interests, and lifestyles.” It is free and open to any and all couples.
Just like it took some time for you to find your partner, it will take some time to find a great pair of friends. In fact, it will probably even take longer because you are aiming for four personalities to match up rather than just two.
Don’t be too picky. You are not choosing people to live with or that you will forever be attached to. Not every part of them has to be attractive to you. Remember it is all about finding people you can enjoy time with. And opposites do attract! You will not have everything in common with your new friends, but that will only add to the fun.
Be patient and try not to put pressure on yourselves. You may go through a few interesting nights with couples that just don’t click. And that’s okay. It’s not a race. Just be on the lookout and be open. And be you.
Now that you know how to find couple friends, I dare you to give it a shot! What do you have to lose? I bet you will find a great match (or at least create some fun memories with your spouse). There are a ton of success stories and no words to describe the great friendships you can create. Good luck!