Weddings are a season of love, happiness, and bliss. But they can also create tension, stress, and disagreements.
Anyone who has ever been involved in the planning of a wedding can attest that wedding-related fights are inevitable. Even the most laid-back couples and the most comfortable future-in-laws cannot organize a wedding without some strife.
Many of these disagreements are petty, with childhood dreams and motherhood expectations to blame. But others are serious, revealing greater underlying conflict that should be resolved before the big day.
Either way, if you are in the midst of wedding season, expect to endure a couple fights. Those fights could resolve themselves in mere minutes or they could take several weeks to figure out an appropriate compromise. But prepare yourself for the worst. If you somehow manage to completely avoid all wedding-related fights, it will be a nice surprise. But if you go into this process with rose-colored glasses, ignorant to the potential difficulties that will surely arise, you will suffer more shock than necessary.
Below are some of the most common wedding-related fights. Do any of these sound awfully familiar?
1. Contrasting tastes
Do you remember when you were in high school and your mom would buy you new clothes for your birthday that didn’t match your personal style? When you (hopefully politely) asked if you could return the turtleneck sweater or the baggy jeans? Parents mean well. They really do. But sometimes their efforts reveal how different your styles and opinions are. Whether it be the invitations, the color scheme, or the vows, it is very likely that your parents will see things a little differently than you and your fiancé. Respect each others opinions, talk about a potential blend of tastes, and opt for a more simple route if necessary.
2. Too many opinions
Whoever coined the phrase, “the more the merrier” never planned a wedding. Too many voices create too many opinions and can only lead to more disagreements and conflict. Call all your girlfriends when you need help making DIY invitations. Invite a big group of ladies from your church over to help assemble the centerpieces. But when it comes times to make the big decisions, select an intimate group of trusted advisors and stick to it!
3. Bachelor party
Boys will be boys, as they say. But when it comes time for marriage, those boys are supposed to mature into men! Your man might see that transition as a call for celebration, to send immaturity off with a proper farewell. But you could see the event as a reason for your man to gradually say goodbye to any reckless living rather than reignite irresponsible memories. No matter what your stances, have an honest conversation with your husband-to-be. He should respect your desires and listen to your point-of-view, but you need to do the same for him.
4. Relatives on the guest list
The creation of a guest list can be extremely stressful. You don’t want any of your beloved friends or family members to be offended or feel slighted because you didn’t include them in your guest list. But for budget’s sake, you must narrow down your invitees to a very exclusive group. While making the difficult decisions about who you really want at your wedding, the last thing you need is more pressure. And pressure is exactly what you get when certain people imply that you should invite distant relatives to the wedding — the relatives that you have only seen twice in your life and don’t even know their names. If you are handed this unfortunate fate, breathe, talk to the individuals making such implications about your need for exclusivity, and be willing to invite your loving Great-aunt Sally to the wedding instead of your long lost 4th grade best friend.
5. Wedding registry
The infamous registry gun has so much power. Thanks to the generosity of your wedding guests, with the click of the trigger, kitchen equipment, bathroom supplies, and other household items will soon be yours! But this freedom is inevitably paired with some tough decisions. Do you ask for the more expensive but higher quality mixer? Is a toaster oven really a necessity? What goes in a bathroom anyway? All questions that you and your fiancé may answer differently. Even further, you and your man may disagree on color, style, and entire items. For some assistance on wedding registry necessities, take a look at our article.
You’ve been to your fair share of weddings. Yes, they are always beautiful. Yes, they are always touching. Yes, they are always tear-jerking. But after attending enough weddings, you recognize repetitive elements and start to become turned off by traditions you previously thought nothing about. It is perfectly normal to want a unique wedding, one like nothing you’ve ever seen or experienced. But it may be more difficult for other family and friends who have not recently attended so many weddings to let go of tradition. People can be immensely attached to tradition and change is not easy. Be considerate of the folks who are struggling with the thought of an unconventional wedding, but stand firm on your desires.
7. Lopsided workload
Females are typically more excited about weddings than their male counterparts. But after months of planning, even the most energetic bride-to-be can get overwhelmed by the process. Because of the general assumption that the bride wants to plan her wedding and that the groom could care less, the former is often left frustrated while the latter is oblivious. If it feels as though you are doing all the work, talk to your man! He may not be aware that you need, or even want, help. Give him specific tasks and deadlines. Planning a wedding is good experience to work together as a couple — don’t miss out on the opportunity!
What more needs to be said? The size of the wedding budget, the cost of each aspect, who is contributing funds… unfortunately many decisions that need to be made and subjects that need to be discussed revolve around money. Finances are almost always a touchy issue, no matter how wealthy or meager the state of the involved parties. Don’t allow money to be the focus of your wedding! Don’t allow mere bills and coins to dictate whether or not you enjoy your big day! Be realistic about your funds and remember that money is no match for love.
You’re not alone! Arguments are normal, especially when planning an event as monumental as a wedding. Laugh about your petty squabbles and address the more serious ones. Remember that your wedding will be a success as long as you walk away with your soulmate!