Have you just gotten married? Congralutaions! This is such an exciting and special time in your life. But, it can also be a challenging time. A time where you love spending time with your new husband, but didn’t realize he always left the seat up, or that his snoring was quite so loud. The first year of marriage can be far from easy, but hopefully, we can give you some encouraging advice today.
Establish Clear Communication
We all know that dating someone and living with someone can be very different experiences. Yes, hopefully everything is going great after the honeymoon, but you are going to hit complications as you try to navigate living together and being around each other so much. Don’t be afraid to tell your spouse about things that are bothering you. And likewise, don’t be offended if he approaches you about something. It’s hard to change something if you don’t realize it’s a problem. Talk openly with your spouse about the best ways you communicate, and try your best not to go the passive-aggressive route. Speak in a calm and kind voice every time you confront him to keep it from exploding into another pointless argument.
Now that you are married don’t get lazy. Set aside a night of the week where you can go on a date night. Continue to treasure each other and compliment each other. People with the best marriages continue dating and getting to know each other long after they say, “I do.” They know that marriage is hard, and they fight to keep their relationship continually growing.
Just because you are married, doesn’t mean you can’t have different interests. If you like working out, and he likes hiking, both continue to spend time doing that. Spend time with your friends, especially your girlfriends, because they will give you something that your husband just can’t. Encourage him also to spend time with his friends. You are still two people, even though you are joined together. Realize that he can’t complete you, and your life will be much easier. Don’t become that married couple that is permanently attached at the hip. Give each other space, and take a break from each other when you need to.
Practice Patience And Compromise
It can be easy to resort to anger and annoyance just because your husband breathed, but try to be patient. Realize that you are both messy humans trying to survive in this crazy world. As you start to work through issues, think about ways you can compromise. This isn’t just your job; your husband should also be willing to compromise as well. But understand now that you are going to have future disagreements where you will have to settle for a compromise. That is what marriage and relationships are all about.
Figure Out Your Finances
Now is the time to merge your bank accounts. Hopefully, you are already aware of each other’s debts, but if not, now is definitely the time to discuss it. Work together to set up a monthly budget, and stick to it. If he is a big spender and you are a penny pincher, try to work through that dynamic.
Discuss Your Goals And Future
This would be questions like how soon do we want to have kids? When should we look to get a house? Should we get a dog? Talk about what you both want out of your home, and move forward. Talk about your goals not only for this coming year but the next several years. Even if you aren’t a big planner, it is better to have discussions about these things so that neither spouse is left in the dark.
Navigating marriage is hard, difficult, and sometimes hilarious. Take some time to sit back and just laugh at your circumstances sometimes instead of cursing them. Laugh when you mess up your first dinner with your in-laws in town or when the Christmas tree is put up horribly wrong. Soak in the joy of being around one another. After all, they’re the reason you wanted to get married in the first place.
Don’t Diss Your Spouse
Make it a hard and fast rule right now to not bad mouth your spouse in public or around a ton of people. Try your best to keep the ins and outs of your relationship, inside your relationship. Of course, we all have best friends and family members who are exempt from this sort of thing but don’t go airing your dirty laundry for all to hear.
Say I Love You Every Night
Remember the reason that you got into this marriage in the first place. Not because you had to, not so you could have the best wedding ever, but because you loved this person and you wanted to be with them forever. Saying I love you once a day can help to keep you both grounded on that truth. When things get hard, never forget that if you both love each other, you can fight through it.
My best wishes to all the happy newlywed couples reading this! If you have any other helpful tips, feel free to comment them below.